Q. Do you know who I am?
A. I really wish you would quit asking me that.
Q. Why did you summon me?
A. Because it’s Monday.
Q. Um – isn’t the Tuesday Tuneup supposed to take place on Tuesday?
A. Supposedly. But with my track record, if I began writing on Tuesday, it probably wouldn’t happen till about Thursday, if at all. And anyway, it will be Tuesday in about a half hour or so.
Q. Why are you up so late?
A. Sleeplessness.
Q. Why are you sleepless?
A. I don’t know. Runs in the family. My dad, my brother, we all have insomnia.
Q. But you don’t have insomnia every night, do you?
A. Not at all, sir. On most nights, I sleep rather well.
Q. So why the sudden insomnia?
A. I don’t know. Restless. Stuff on my mind.
Q. Like what?
A. Wow – you sure do ask a lot of questions, don’t you?
Q. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?
A. Never mind. What’s on my mind is, quite honestly, my own shortcomings. My flaws, my faults, my mistakes.
Q. Is not to err human?
A. What?
Alexander Pope
Q. Is it not human to make mistakes?
A. I suppose so — at least according to the descendant of an ancestor of mine. But I am not divine, and I just cannot forgive myself my mistakes. There are too many of them. They are too huge. And try as I may, I never seem to make any progress toward correcting them.
Q. Do they need to be corrected?
A. What do you mean, do they “need” to be corrected? What kind of a question is that? They’re mistakes! If things are wrong, they must be made right.
Q. Why?
A. What do you mean, why?
Q. Why can’t you just let them be wrong?
A. You mean – not even try to correct the mistakes?
Q. That’s what I said, didn’t I?
A. Are you honestly trying to suggest that I make no effort to correct my mistakes?
Q. The mistakes are past, aren’t they?
A. They occurred in the past, yes. I think the last one was about fifteen minutes ago, but it’s still past.
Q. Can you change the past?
A. No, I cannot.
Q. Then why are you trying to do so?
A. I don’t know, sir. I honestly do not know.
The Questioner is silent.
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