I’ve been doubling up on my gratitude lists lately, usually doing two a day instead of one. I tend to do that when times are hard, because they really do help me keep my spirits up. And then, ironically, I sometimes realize that times are not so hard after all.
1. Though I only slept 3 1/2 hours from about 10pm till 1:30am, it’s really okay. There’s nowhere that I have to be today, and I can make my own schedule. I’ve paid all my bills, and I’ve got food in the kitchen. Thankful that I have a place where I can sleep, and that I’m not outside in the 32 degrees of cold.
2. I just remembered feeling a real sense of peace when I was walking home from the café in the drizzle last night. When I was at peace, I saw a vision of someone whom I love, that she’s totally depressed right now, and I was able to pray for her with compassion.
3. When I was in the space of #2 above, I no longer felt threatened by this person whom I love.
4. Reading Proverbs 7 is reminding me it’s probably not a good idea to go out with any particularly flirtatious married women. ;)
5. Really glad I decided to go to church yesterday after all. Everything about it was nice, including the fellowship afterwards. I didn’t know Tom R. could play the 12-string like that, and it was also the best I’d ever heard Mary R. play the flute. Also, Amy P. got up and read very nicely. I remember thinking her mother Kathy must be proud of her.
6. Finished the polished draft of #2A “The Age of Nevermore” in my vocal score. Really got into it, how all the extended notes acting like drones against the melody lines in the quintet are like the “sirens of the damned” that the lyrics reference. Can’t wait to score the instrumental ending with all that cacaphony and synth-brass counterpoint over wailing guitar solos while my protagonist is in torture on a gurney at the psych ward.
7. I love that cute café, the way they just sit there and let me work, and they don’t kick me out or anything like they would have when I was homeless down in California.
8. Grateful for that Friday night meeting at the Recovery Center, and for Cindy being the secretary. I think I’ll try to go every Friday now, and just go once a week between now and April.
9. Just saw a notification of a new email reply from Lynne Fisher. This will give me something to do before I go back to bed.
10. I’m in a good mood now. God is Good.
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