Sleep Paralysis

I never knew what it was called until they came up with a name for it about five or six years ago.  I’ve been having it since I was 14.  I believe my brother has been having it since he was 15.  My daughter has it but her mother, my ex-wife does not.

The reason why I’m bringing it up is because, although I’ve been dealing with this phenomenon at varying levels of discomfort throughout my life, it has never been as bad as it’s been in the past ten or twelve days.   I’m having it day after day; I’ve been to Emergency about it; I’ve even had a guy from my church come over and perform a kind of charismatic exorcism.  

I’ve probably averaged three or four hours of sleep a night for the past ten days or so.  Only on one night did I get a good seven hours sleep.  The night I went to Emergency the doctor there gave me 0.5 mg clonazepam on my request, which was the same medication I swore off cold turkey on May 10, 2004.  A reaction to a prescription of 6mg / day I was given on the morning my mother was to die caused me to start behaving very strangely, uncharacteristically.   Anybody who’s heard my story knows that between October 9, 2003 when Mom died and May 17, 2004 when I spent my first night homeless at the Burlingame CalTrain station, I lost everything I had.  I took clonazepam (klonopin) all that time till I quit cold turkey on May 10, 2004.  

The reason I bring this up is that I don’t ask for a clonazepam lightly.  But I’ve known that a low dose like that is usually sufficient to get me from a waking state to sound sleep without stopping at that horrible zone where you kinda feel like this:

What Are Your Experiences With The Sleep Paralysis Demon Like?

Seriously.  Something from somewhere is pressing upon you.  You don’t quite see it, but boy do you feel it!  It’s one of the most terrifying experiences I know of.   

The night of the exorcism (not quite the right word; I think he use the word “intercession”) I slept very well.  It seemed all sense of such invasive entities had stopped completely.  But last night the invasion resumed.  I jumped out of bed pretty mad.   When is this thing going to end?

I was so mad, I ran three miles at midnight, did eleven push-ups, then wiped myself out enough to conk out from about two till six in the morning.   My vital signs were good at the doctor’s visit – lost eight pounds, medium to low blood pressure, heart rate 56.  Lots of exercise lately, and not much rest.  That could be a factor, but man, I am getting tired of this!   

I called the guy from my church and we prayed I would just get a decent night’s sleep.  I’ve been contacting old friends, and preparing for the worst.   I’m not sure how much longer I can hold up.  I have never had it night after night, day after day, on the bus, in the doctor’s office, sitting on my desk, sitting in the cafe — it’s horrible.

I’ve alternated between thinking that the loss of my medication might have something to do with it, but it was happening before that as well.  I’ve thought the medication itself might be involved, but one way or the other, I don’t like it.

I know this isn’t my usual post, but I’m not sure I’ve got much longer.  Every night I wonder if I’m going to get to sleep, or if I’m going to wake up, when it’s done.  

So – if I’ve seemed to be weird the past few days (?) this is why.   I’m thinking about ditching the psych drug, much as I’ve thought it helped.  I’ve stopped everything else, and I don’t need to drink.  Street drugs?  They’re for the streets.

Today is the third year anniversary of the day I stepped off that bus on July 27, 2016 to start a new life.  If you pray, please pray that the new life will manifest fully from here. I’ve been feeling like I’ve been half asleep and half awake. Half in Cali, half up here. Half outdoors, and half inside. I’m in paralysis. I want to be full and complete from here on in, and paralyzed no more.

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9 thoughts on “Sleep Paralysis

  1. Some of us believe this phenomenon is related to astral or etheric travel, where wake up inside our dreams and can consciously choose to go somewhere and do something. We normally are fast asleep when we do it, so have no memory of it. But if we start to travel as we are falling asleep or waking up, we become conscious of the process and it is extremely uncomfortable. Agoraphobics can get the same thing. Their etheric or astral body starts to leave their physical body when they are in the environment that triggers them, usually wide open spaces. The phenomenon has nothing to do with demonology, although you can choose to travel to those worlds if you want to, once out of the body.

    The trick is to eat enough red meat. Red meat, and any meat really, is dense and grounding. Mystics of old used to give up meat when they were preparing to do some kind of occult ritual, because meat tends to ground a person enough to prevent psychic or mystical experiences.

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  2. The first time it happened when I was 14 years old, I thought I was leaving my body. And many times since then. That there are different bodies (physical, subtle, etheric) is definitely confirmed in this experience.

    Red meat — thanks for the tip. I think the only factor that’s been different in my “diet” lately is that Straterra that I had been prescribed for ADHD / Dyslexia. So I’m ditching it. It helps me to focus but messes with my sleep patterns. Thanks for your intriguing post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sounds awful, Andy! Wishing you some peaceful sleep. My tinnitus has been bad lately, but I have been able to sleep as I take an amitriptline tablet at night for other reasons and it just nudges me over. When I wake up, the tinnutis blares and takes a while to recalibrate itself to waking mode. Stressful events are at th ehart of the flare up, I believe. Good luck with ditching the Straterra and thinking of you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve slept well the past two nights. They gave me an Ativan at emergency (an anti-anxiety), and then I got seven hours sleep. Then last night I resorted to a cannabis product, and slept ten hours. I’m quite a bit more focused now.

      Like

  4. Sleep. I never have known what to make of it. I know I respond better if I get some. But, have no idea what that means. I have had great days on 4 hours of sleep and great days after 10 hours of sleep. I’m suspecting my mind has something to do with it. You are totally capable and up to the challenge of you life. I mean that’s pretty apparent, at least from what you have blogged. You will resolve this. Meds are such a personal issue. Do the experiment and see how it goes. Know you are not alone!
    B

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I hope those experiences stop completely. I’ve heard of people who used to go through intense sleep paralysis but prayers produced a complete breakthrough.It is a spiritual warfare. l’ll bewill be praying for you, all the best❤

    Liked by 1 person

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