Q. What’s happening now?
Q. Over what?
A. For one thing, the blog posts no longer manifest in chronological order. As soon as I get to The Very Same World, it deviates from the order and throws me onto all kinds of posts that happened forty years ago. This sure doesn’t help when I’m trying to figure out the number of the last Tuesday Tuneup I wrote.
Q. Isn’t there another path of navigation that will lead you to the Tuneup number?
A. Yes. So I googled Tuesday Tuneup 82, which is the last one I remembered writing, but I wasn’t sure. But whenever I put Tuesday Tuneup 82 onto Google, all these other tuneups were coming up, I guess more popular ones, and I could never get to 82.
Q. What about quotes?
A. Eventually I realized quotes could help, and eventually I put Tuesday Tuneup 82 in quotes, and it came up.
Q. Why didn’t you do that in the first place?
A. Just cuz it’s not my practice. I usually find out by scrolling down, and the scrolling down led to weird other places. I figured it would come out without quotes, so I guess I tried it third.
Q. How about just writing down the number of each Tuneup and putting it in a place where you can find it?
A. Why are you on my case?
Q. Why do you think I’m on your case?
A. I don’t know. You’re just kinda annoying me this morning.
Q. Whatever. So when you pulled up Tuesday Tuneup 82. what happened?
A. You know what happened! I got slammed with this new interface.
Q. Then what did you do?
A. Started googling things like “Go back to Old WordPress editor.”
Q. Then what happened?
A. It said to “go to plugins” and then find the Old Editor and reinstall it.
Q. Why didn’t you do that?
A. Because I couldn’t find “plugins.” Looked all over for it.
Q. And now you’re settling for the New Editor?
A. Begrudgingly. WordPressed my buttons.
Q. Which buttons?
A. Resentment against pseudo-authority.
Q. What do you mean by pseudo-authority?
A. I mean the dynamic whereby one thinks that they are an authority, but by all rights, they are NOT an authority.
Q. Can you clarify?
A. Morally, ethically, and in terms of rights, it is not the perogative of WordPress (or Microsoft or Google or Facebook or whoever else), to decide where I should go. If I wanted to go to Phoenix, nobody has the authority to make to go to Cincinnati. That’s what it feels like. I intend, through my executive agency, to go to the Old Editor, and they KIDNAP ME and take me to some foreign editor whom I don’t even know.
Q. But you did give up and try to use the New Editor?
A. Did I have a choice? I’m at the New Editor begrudgingly. Already TWICE I’ve hit some damned key that I keep hitting, maybe five times a day, that instantly eradicates all my work. If it weren’t for the Drafts, I’d have never gotten this far.
Q. Where is that key?
A. I have no idea. I’ve been asking people about since 1999. Nobody seems to ever take me seriously. I wonder if it’s something that only happens on MY computers. But it’s maddening, whatever it is.
Q. So you are basically saying — what?
A. I resent any situation where somebody feels they have the authority to hijack my agency. They should be a gentleman about it. They shouldn’t just throw things on me, no matter who they are.
Q. But hasn’t WordPress been talking about the interface for weeks now?
A. Sure they have. But I haven’t paid any attention.
Q. Why not?
A. Because I figured I would just use the Old Editor. And now I am just frustrated because under the all the other pressure, I can’t find the Old Editor.
Q. Don’t you feel kind of childish?
A. Yes, I do. I feel like a spoiled child. It is not that important for me to be doing any of this right now. I’m pissed off because I’ve been up since 8, I thought I could just compose a simple tune-up that I always enjoy writing, and start the day off on a nice note, and be in a good mood at rehearsal this afternoon for the Kids
Q. Well — uh – I mean, Andy — isn’t your rehearsal for the Kids more important than the Tuneup?
A. What do you mean? I miss the Tuneup half of the Tuesdays or more! I just wanted to do it this time, and do it quickly, and get on with the day.
Q. Do you mean to tell me you have spent four hours trying to figure out how to get to the Tuneup field?
A. Um – er – not exactly – the plumbers came over, I was talking to them, played a little piano, made a sandwich, and did some other things, but whenever I got back to the computer, all that has happened on any level has been navigational stress and failure.
Q. So you’re in a bad space?
A. Yes. And I want to be in a good space — not for me, or for the the Kids. They’re just — too good. And I have worked with Kids who are flaky – and they put my name in a bad light. But these kids – are not like that. They do show up on time. They don’t make lame excuses for not being there that any idiot can see through. They don’t insult my intelligence in that fashion, nor do they have a problem with my authority – which is in this case, is not Pseudo-Authority, but Real Authority. They’re reliable and talented and enthusiastic, and the least I can do is greet them with a good mood.
Q. Have you ever been in a bad mood whenever you’ve seen these Kids?
A. No – next to my daughter, these Kids are the delight of my life right now.
Q. Well then, you could be in a bad mood till 3:30 and then instantly be in a good mood, as you soon as you see the Kids.
Q. Do you want to be in a bad mood till 3:30?
Q. Then why don’t you just post the Tuneup and get on with the day?
A. Good idea.
Q. Anything else?
A. No. End of rant. Andy OUT.
(There’s supposed to be some thing here that says to donate to Eden in Babylon but I don’t want to stress on figuring it out right now. It’s a beautiful day and there’s music to play. God bless.)