Q. Where would you like to be?
A. I would like to be in a place where I no longer have to hear that question.
Q. What’s wrong with that question?
A. Nothing. I’ve just heard it too many times.
Q. How many times have your heard it?
A. Twenty-two times.
Q. And you don’t want to hear it a 23rd time?
A. No, I don’t. I’d rather hear a different question.
Q. What question would you like to hear?
A. Any other question at all — with one exception.
Q. What’s the exception?
A. Don’t ask me if I know who you are.
Q. Why not?
A. Because you have asked that question too many times.
Q. How many times have I asked it?
A. Twenty-two times.
Q. So you don’t want to hear any question more than twenty-two times??
A. I didn’t say that! In fact, if the new question is good enough, I wouldn’t mind hearing it sixty-six times.
Q. And if it’s not good enough?
A. Twenty-two times will suffice — as it did for the previous two questions.
Q. And how shall we determine what the new question will be?
A. Let’s leave that up to my readers. Let them decide what question you should ask me.
Q. Can you run all this past me again, please?
A. Certainly. On the first 22 of the Tuesday Tuneups, you asked me: “Do you know who I am?” On the second 22 of the Tuesday Tuneups, you asked me: “Where would you like to be?” Now, for either 22 or 66 further future Tuesday tuneups, you will ask me a new and different question. That question will be determined once we hear from my readers.
Q. But what if they all want to hear a different question?
A. That’s the whole point! They absolutely will all want to hear a different question! I will not permit any of my readers to ask a question that one of them has already asked. All questions must be new.
Q. Will the winner get some kind of reward for having chosen the question that most meets your approval?
A. Sure! I’ll shoot ’em $10 USD.
Q. Ten bucks?
Q. Can you afford to let go of ten bucks?
A. Um — er – let’s just say I have a tendency to get a bit generous after the 1st of the month.
Q. So you are essentially holding a contest among your readers to see who will choose the question that most meets your approval?
A. You got it.
Q. And the winner gets ten bucks?
A. Yessir, Mr. Q! A whoppin’ ten bucks.
Q. Isn’t this a bit crass?
A. I don’t think so. It’s supposed to be fun!
Q. Are we having fun yet?
The Questioner is silent.
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