Gratitude List 1264

1. Slept six hours last night between 8pm and 2am. Also got an hour nap yesterday afternoon between 12:30 & 1:30.

2. Ran three miles yesterday morning. I see no reason not to run a couple miles or more this morning, with better form.

3. Was in a good mood during the gig at Jodie’s church, played “Be Thou My Vision,” and got a lot out of the sermon.

4. Jodie paid me $50 in cash. Now I can pay the phone bill.

5. Just noticed it was Proverbs 16 this morning, my favorite chapter in Proverbs. Just looked at 16:7, my favorite verse in Proverbs, and it applies.

6. Good Grapevine meeting last night, sat between two members whom I like who shall remain anonymous, and talked afterward to a member of the clergy who shall remain anonymous. It was a lot like an Al-Anon meeting, and I needed that. Gained from it.

7. Ran into J. drinking at an outdoor establishment taking with D., and tried to avoid them so as to continue doing all the creative work that I typically do “in my head” while briskly walking.  But then, when J. hailed me, I succeeded in not responding with annoyance, as though it were an impolite intrusion.  Rather, I managed to be cordial and smiling with both of them, though still successfully conveying that I had work to do, and managing a getaway without appearing hostile.  For me, this is a breakthrough.  I hate it when people interrupt my work, and it’s been frustrating trying to explain to non-autistic sorts that most of my work is done invisibly in my head.

8. Was praying that somebody would let go, when it came to me that I was the one who needed to let go.

9. I have discovered a truly marvelous resolution to the last Scene in Eden in Babylon, which unfortunately this margin is too narrow to hold.

10. I so love the “absolutely quiet hours.” Can’t wait to finish my reading — and write. God is Good.

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Gratitude List 1253

1. Slept about 5 hrs — an hour and a half from 10:30 till midnight, and then another 3 1/2 from 2:30 till 6. Grateful to have fulfilled the requirement.

2. Ran only 2 miles at a snail’s pace, neither for speed, distance, or tempo. It was a good warm-up for the Big Five tomorrow morning, hopefully combining all three.

3. Very nice talk with my friend Holly last night. She’s doing well, house-sitting in Grass Valley on a large acreage with swimming pool.

4. Sold another $45 worth of Abandon albums on Bandcamp yesterday, in addition to the $30 I made in hard copy CD sales. So, a $75 day yesterday, once all proceeds manifest.

5. Saw an amazingly gorgeous sunset walking home from the cafe last night. I took it to mean that the sun is setting beautifully on a newly completed stage of my life.

6. Set up Discord to chat with Emily, and fixed Google Hangouts. Had a great talk with my daughter on Hangouts & squared some things away.

7. Remembered something about the psychic stage where I get onto the massive creative roll (which I call “Stage Three.”)  It’s not good to let the high creative flow be interrupted, because it can transform the passion to total frustration and irritation, if not outright outrage. Next time I’ll remember.

8. The September Street Spirit is the best since Alastair took over, and my column the best of the three.   Expect a pertinent blog post on Thursday.

9. Looking forward to good work on the 4th draft today and to playing piano at 4pm at the hospital.

10. The upstairs section of the cafe, where nobody from next door is likely to find me, and the Muses hover almost visibly over my comfortable creative chair.  God is Good.

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Gratitude List 1244

Happy Labor Day.  Here’s my gratitude list from Saturday morning.   I’ll be posting three music clips and one announcement, all three hours apart, throughout the day.  Hope it all finds you blessed.    

1. Slept solidly for nine hours between 10 & 7, no sleeping pill being needed, and no sleep paralysis.

2. Observing the Sabbath, mostly reading.  Grateful for quietude.

3. Grateful for my apartment, for its “out of the way” location, for my new incentive to keep it tidy, and for my positive relationship with the landlord.

4. Glad I’m not in the awful space I was in two days ago, and grateful for the lesson of just how far into spiritual darkness the “obsession of the mind” can lead me.

5. Grateful for Matt, one of the better sponsors I’ve had.

6. First thing I read this morning was an unusually good “Got Questions” article.   It started the mind off thinking the right way on the Sabbath Day.

7. Grateful for the Day of Rest and for the knowledge that once the sun goes down, I can start working again.

8. Glad I have a computer expert for a sponsor.  Matt helped me to get the CD’s burnt correctly with a new and better CD burner.   Also installed a better free media player.

9. Open Mike was a gentle experience last night.   Grateful for my positive relationship with Dave Harlan.  I played three pieces of “improvised classical” and was able to sell three CD’s.

10. Breakfast at Courtyard in 40 minutes, Farmer’s Market thereafter.  Somebody called this place “The Town Time Forgot.”  God is Love.

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Gratitude List 1239

(1) Slept seven hours from 11 to 6, solid rem sleep with vivid dreams.  Grateful for the comfortable couch on which I sleep, and its proximity to my computer and my piano.

(2) The house is so much brighter now that I have a decent male roommate.   Joey used to own and manage a cleaning company, plus he was a line cook and a prep cook.   I gave him the spare room, and we agreed he only has to pay 1/3 the rent, in exchange for keeping the kitchen and the bathroom clean.

(3) Church was great yesterday morning.  “Whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren, you do also to Me.”  I also got to tell them that my prayer was answered, for a housemate who could help around the house.

(4) Inspired by Joey’s tidiness, I organized my whole desk, and things are much easier to find.  For $1 at the dollar store, I got a white wide-ruled legal pad, taped it to the desk to the right of the computer and have four pens sitting right there.  (Now I don’t have to keep looking for paper and pens every time I want to write something down).  There’s still room to work the mouse to the right of the pad.   Starting to make lists — it all seems so easy now — compared to how hard it was just a few short days ago.

(5) Finally got some 175 readers to replace the 250’s that were way too strong, and now I don’t have to keep taking my glasses on and off.   They look nice too, all black and sharp.  That dollar store is a really good deal.

(6) Somebody canceled, and it looks like I’m playing solo this Thursday at the One World Cafe.  Might as well put up flyers — shoot for the moon.

(7) Putting on the finishing touches the worship song I’ve been writing, called “I Want to Worship You.”   I believe I’ve received it.  Also heard back about this from my old Internet buddy, Jeff, a worship leader type in Texas with a great devotional blog.

(8) Joey and I have a lot in common, and I asked if I could interview him for an upcoming Wednesday talk.

(9) When I was cleaning the living room and dining room, I found two Exile covers and three Pinnacle covers, amid all the Interim covers I already knew were there.   So I burned five new CD’s to add to the two Abstraction CD’s remaining in my inventory.  Hoping to sell all seven of them soon.

(10) Just ran two miles, nice new course along Paradise Path.  I am truly blessed in my life these days.  God is Love.

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A little bit goes a long, long way.  

 

Gratitude List 1229

(1) Though I only got about an hour and a half of sleep before I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep, I’m still very thankful that it’s been seven days now and I’ve not gone into sleep paralysis.

(2) I was able to get a large tube of toothpaste and a bottle of shampoo for free at the Co-Op in the box of things they take to the Food Bank.   Also, I found a brand new toothbrush in my backpack that I’d forgotten about.

(3) Really looking forward to calling my friend Danielle, and to talking with her for 45 minutes between 4:45 and 5:30.  I’ve missed the last four times due to sleeping in, and it’s left a bit of a void.  I very much gain from this early morning fellowship.  It’s been a tradition now for a long time.

(4) My daughter has connected with a writing coach whom I regard very highly, Lauren Sapala, and Lauren has promised to read a book she has written, called Secrets Held Too Tight to Keep.  

(5) As of this morning, I believe my unhealthy attitudes toward money are being healed.

(6) For the second time this year, just when I ran out of reading glasses, I found a nice pair of dollar readers sitting on a bench, and they suit me perfectly.   

(7) I was able to cry during the church service, though not a whole lot.  Still, it’s a start.  I hardly ever cry, but the times when I’ve gotten in touch with the deeper feelings, I’ve cried in torrents.   It’s always cleansing when I do, and it helps me to move forward once again.

(8) I’ll probably have two new piano pieces for you later on in the week, as soon as I get them off of that guy’s smartphone and upload them onto my youtube channel.  I recall they both came out very nicely.

(9) Letting go off the past has always been very difficult for me.   But it’s become clear that I really need to count my blessings and look forward.   That said, there are some pretty substantial potential blog posts hidden in some of the very long emails I have sent to those who have ceased to contact me.   The words I wrote are still valuable.  I only wrote them to the wrong people.

(10) Training for window washing at 6am, should make some money in cash before 9am, when I have to go to the hospital and finalize my volunteer position.  The volunteer position, by the way, is that I will now be playing piano regularly at the entrance to the Courtyard Cafe — in the hospital where I was born.   Stranger things have happened!  And the Lord Himself moves in strange and mysterious ways.

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A little bit goes a long, long way.  

 

Gratitude List 1221

1. Slept well, got up at 4:00 am exactly.

2. Daily money manifested at around that time, and this time I was able to hold off on coffee till I got to the Courtyard (where the coffee is free).

3. Nice breakfast at Courtyard. First time in weeks I’ve been able to finish the whole breakfast.

4. Weight was up two pounds at the doctor, which is okay, as I had been losing rapidly. Heart still 56, blood pressure 108/60, temp 97.2. Finally, after three years, all vital signs are down to what they usually were in Berkeley.

5. Doc prescribed Trazodone for insomnia and (hopefully) sleep paralysis.  My daughter says it’s effective, and it appears it may be the lesser of evils. I was honest with the doctor about use of benzos and cannabis, past and present, respectively.  Well — I’m not convinced how much of the solution can possibly lie in the medical realm, but I’m grateful I made it to the appointment anyway, like a responsible human being.

6. Worked the door again last night, great young band from Vancouver, fresh out of high school, advanced garage band style. Brandy gave me a $40 gift card.

7. Nice weather this morning 69F degrees, breezy, conducive to brisk exercise.

8. Nice talk with my friend Kent this morning.

9. Made another speech, again spontaneously, though this one has some undeveloped themes and must be re-done.  I’m calling it “The Perception of Inequality.”  I posted it here before deciding it falls too far short of my artistic standards on too many levels for it to be live in its current state.   So I have pulled it until it has been rightly adjusted.   I took eight lengthy notes for an expanded revision, and am hoping to post the updated version on Wednesday morning.

10. Though still hung up on “Oracle,” the vocal score revisions are proceeding aright. I feel on track with all my homework, actually, if for no other reason than that I no longer shun or shirk the task. It helps to enjoy what you’re doing. God is Good.

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A little bit goes a long, long way.  

Gratitude List 1220

1. Slept again about six hours from around 10 till 4:15.

2. Perfect running weather 61F and foggy.

3. Spent a while at LRC yesterday – I enjoyed talking with Cindy, Scott, Shaun & Amber. They’re doing some good expansion of the place, creating a Crisis Center next door where the barber shop used to be, of which Shaun is in charge.

4. Farmer’s Market this morning.

5. Working the door tomorrow night, will get a $30 gift card.

6. I spontaneously gave a sixteen-minute talk yesterday called It Can’t Be Forgotten. Did it in a single take and two quick edits, hope you enjoy it.

7. Got a chance to talk with Alex last night, good long talk.

8. It’s beginning to look like my daughter will be here soon.

9. Finished past No. 6 in the revised vocal score. Should have Act One done very soon.

10. Sky’s getting light, love this time of the morning. God is Good.

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A little bit goes a long, long way.