Tuesday Tuneup 29

just-say-no-to-nike-v-1200x630Q. Where would you like to be?

A. In a place of greater fortitude.

Q. And what is fortitude?

A. Something like courage, but not quite.

Q. What’s the difference?

A. “Fortitude” implies more of a “just do it” approach.  That is, even if one lacks courage in general.  Just do it anyway, even when scared.  “Saying no” is a good example.  I need “fortitude” (not courage) to say “no.”  That’s what I think the difference is, anyway.

Q. Does this apply to something in your life today?

A. Lots of things.

Q. How so?

A. I burn out a lot.  If I don’t feel like doing something, I usually don’t do it.

Q. Then how does it ever get done?

A. Because I know that later on, I probably will feel like doing it.  So I wait till that happens, and in the meantime I do what I do feel like doing — knowing that I probably won’t feel like doing it later.

Q. Does that apply to everything?

A. No.  It doesn’t apply to things that I never feel like doing.

Q. What do you never feel like doing?

A. Washing the dishes.  I never feel like washing the dishes.

Q. And the dishes have piled up?

A. “Piled up” is an understatement.   

Q. How did you allow this to happen?

A. Well – it’s a bit on the personal side, but I guess the answer would be: “When have I not allowed it to happen?”  I’m just lousy at washing dishes.  They were clean for a while when there was someone here helping me with that kind of thing.  But that person isn’t here right now.  And anyway, dishes are just an example.

Q. What’s another example?

A. Saying “no” in general.  Keeping a couple people from knocking on my door at any hour.  And they don’t just knock.  They ring the bell.  Then they wait, and then ring it five times.  Then they wait, and start pounding on the door.  Then I finally realize it’s never going to end.  So I get up, even from being fast asleep, and explain that I’m sleeping and could they please come back another time.

Q. Where did you meet these guys?

A. At the Recovery Center.

Q. And you gave them your address?

A. Well yeah – we had the one guy over for dinner a couple times, when there was still two of us here.  It didn’t seem a big deal at the time.

Q. Then why does it seem a big deal now?

A. Other than that I’m being woke up in the middle of the night a lot?  That’s not a big deal?

Q. Isn’t there a bigger deal?

A. Well yeah – at the root of it, there is.  The bigger deal is I never just flat out tell these guys that I’d rather they don’t come over at all.  

Q. Why not?

A.  I don’t know.  I feel sorry for the one guy.  He’s been out in the cold a couple times.  Less sorry now, though, because I think he stole from me, and I heard he’s in jail right now.   Didn’t figure him for the “type,” but I noticed something was off last time.  Probably they switched his meds or something.   

Q. What about the other guy?

A.  I keep coming up with a use for him.  He’s a computer whiz, and he helped me get the right adapter so I could use my ThinkPad as a desktop now that it’s screen is cracked.

Q. Your laptop screen is cracked?

A. Yeah.  I had to plug it into an external monitor and start working from home.

Q. How did this happen?

A. I have no idea.  All I know is that it happens all too often.   And now I’m tempted to go over to the guy’s place with my old Dell, because I can’t get it to start up.  

Q.  But didn’t you start it up this morning?   Didn’t I read that on your gratitude list?

A. Yes, you did. But it only started up that one time.  Every other time I’ve tried it gets into a weird loop telling me it needs to restart, then I restart, and it tells me it needs to restart.  And so on.  

Q. Do you ever feel like you’re having more than your fair share of technical problems?

A. What do you mean?  New cell phone gets damaged due to water damage.  Second new cell phone gets cut off because they think I’m supposed to have the number of the old cell phone.  PayPal account gets locked for “suspicious activity” when I try to change my phone number.  Trying to send money from my PayPal somehow takes the money out of my bank account instead of my PayPal balance (Lord knows why) and now my bank account is overdrawn, plus I never succeeded in sending the money.   It’s still just sitting there in my PayPal account.  But when I try to transfer it to my bank I get a message telling me that they’re “not sure it’s me.”  I called them, and apparently when a person changes their phone number, it is regarded as “suspicious activity.”

Q. Anything else?

A. Thanks for asking.  So I wake up yesterday morning to a broken laptop screen.  And finally my back-up computer refuses to start up.  Well fine.  I’ll just work at home even though I’m totally paranoid these Kids are going to start pounding on the door any minute now.

A. Is that all?

Q. Probably not.  I mean — I’m an Artist.  I live for these moments of ecstasy I get when my work is going well.  I don’t know how to make money.  I don’t know how to deal with all this technical stuff.  They should only lay technical difficulties on people who can afford to deal with them.

Q. When did your life become so erratic?

A. One guess.

The Questioner is silent.

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
Anything Helps – God Bless!

 

Gratitude List 921

(1) Although it took 17 minutes to get from the point where I pressed the “start’ button on the old Dell Latitude to the point where I have successfully logged on and open my browser, at least it works.  (And at least I had 17 minutes to spare.)

spirit scinece quotes(2) Slept well and long.

(3) Continuing beautiful weather in this neck of the woods.   

(4) Considering the newly broken ThinkPad screen and other obstacles, I’m in a pretty good mood this morning.  I’m rested and looking forward to the new day.   

(5) Third cup of free coffee at the Courtyard is helping, as did the $3 traditional breakfast.

(6) Was able to get the right HDMI adapter from the Kid across the way in exchange for $5 for chewing tobacco.  So now I’m using the ThinkPad as a “desktop” with my flat panel, instead of the Asics, and it’s a much better display.  I also finally fixed the Zoho problem where they kept sending text verifications to the wrong phone number.  So I can get on Zoho Mail on all my computers now.  Sure is nice to have three computers (or portions thereof) to mess with, instead of only zero – like it was for so long earlier.

(7) Friday night I got the first donation on Eden in Babylon for almost five months.  This could be auspicious.  Also, someone mentioned they would mail me a donation, and I heard from Denise who says my check for Classism in Our Schools should be in the mail today.  A friend helped with food and such over the weekend, and it’s good to know that I have support.

(8) Denise also referred me to Spare Change, which I believe is a Boston newspaper akin to Street Spirit.  These small articles don’t pay much, but they’ll all add up if I can get more of them.  

(9) Had the great experience of meeting Rob Caisley, the playwriting teacher at U.I., when he sat next to me at the closing matinee of his new play, The Open Hand.  He agreed to meet with me in his office to discuss my musical Eden in Babylon.   I’m to email him and set up a time.

(10) Outside of present-day preoccupation with technical malaise, I’ve noticed lately that I’m not looking backwards so much these days as I am looking forwards.  Instead of thinking: “At least things are better now than they were three years ago,” I’m thinking: “If things are this much better now than they were three years ago, think how great they’re going to be three years from today!”  It makes a difference, believe me.  

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
Anything Helps – God Bless!

 

)

Gratitude List 866

(1) Something tells me this is going to be a very productive week.

(2) I slept incredibly soundly last night.

(3) Just now awoke and noticed immediately that I was back in my “usual good mood” — no more of that funk I was in for a few days there.

(4) Coffee was ready without even having to flip a switch.  Tastes good, too!

smiling computer(5) My computer is right here where I left it.   Turned on my tensor lamp and voilà –  the O.G. is ready to roll.

(6) Had a really nice Skype with Howard last night — noticed once again how insightful and good-natured he can be.  This is especially illuminated over the Skype interface, where one can actually see the guy.   Will wonders of technology never cease.

(7) Nice of Norman to have dinner with me at the Co-Op.  Another very insightful and compassionate man.

(8) I am not at a loss for true friends at this time in my life.

(9) This honestly is the best I’ve felt in ages.

(10) I get to meet Jan at the station tonight and walk her back home.  It sure is nice having her around.   The Lord has blessed me so much.   And I can be whom I’ve always wanted to be.   Thank God for the good things in life.

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
Anything Helps – God Bless!

 

An Open Letter to All Believers Who Use Facebook

Brothers & Sisters:

I need prayer for Facebook addiction.  I don’t want to ever have to log on to that site again.   My mind becomes flooded with Facebook-related matters in such a way that interferes with my focus on the important things.  This even happened in counseling with Pastor Norman yesterday.

I was off of Facebook, hopefully for good, for about five or six weeks, not wanting to return to it.  The only reason I came back is because I found it impossible to communicate with the singers on my demo project by email or phone.  They wouldn’t return emails or phone calls when I was trying to organize rehearsals.  Erika (one of the singers) said I should start a Facebook if I wanted to talk to them.

Begrudgingly, I returned to Facebook.  All the singers accepted my Facebook friend requests immediately and I was then able to organize rehearsals and a studio date.  The problem on my end is that it then led to a progressive illness with regards to Facebook.  I’ve begun to think a lot about people whom I haven’t known for decades and never knew very well to begin with.  I’ve begun to think a lot about situations in Berkeley, where I haven’t lived for almost two years ago.   Basically, the “Old Story” was being fed, and the “New Story” being starved.

Yesterday, to cap it all off, I saw I had a message from my friend Todd, to whom this email is cc’d.  Because it was Todd, and not just any old Facebook “friend,”  I logged on to Facebook to check the message, even though I’d told everybody I was going to “take a break” from the site.  He had a video I could use for Homeless Lives Matter, a very compelling video that was appropriate for that site.  It was called “Homeless People Read Mean Tweets.”  It showed a number of homeless people sitting around reading anti-homeless tweets that were very mean-spirited, as well as, in most cases, ignorant.  So I shared it to the site.

Immediately, a woman named R. made a comment that “people who are housed” read mean tweets, too.  Long story short, by the end of the night, the comments section on Homeless Lives Matter was full of an argument between R. and somebody named Georgia who objected to her attitude.  It included a lengthy account about how R. had let me stay over at her house and how I left water on the floor after taking a shower and “blocked a doorway,” both of which events are plausible, but neither of them memorable.

(I do recall in those days that people frequently objected to manifestations of my absent-minded nature when, on rare occasions, they permitted me to shower at their homes or sleep on their couches.   I object, as you know. to these same manifestations, which occur to this day.  Absent-mindedness is probably the biggest problem I have now, holding me back more than any other idiosyncrasy.)

In any case, this woman — whom I only know from a single occasion — went on and on about how self-absorbed and self-preoccupied I am, only caring about myself and my music, not having consideration for her needs, and so forth.  In other words, this woman whom I had known for exactly one night flagrantly assassinated my character on a timeline where 600 members of the group I started in Berkeley could read it.  I am not an Admin of that group and no power to remove the inflammatory posts, so I simply deleted the video.

My lady friend Jan later said that this “highlights” the whole insanity of the Facebook phenomenon.  People don’t take the evils of Facebook seriously enough.  I have had friends post extremely personal information on my timeline, much of it completely erroneous or even stuff that would endanger their own security.  Then they wonder why I am removing their comments.  The world does need to know their personal business, or mine, and it baffles me why people won’t at least keep such comments in Messenger, where they are directed only toward the person for whom they are intended.

In any case, I need prayer for this addiction, because I had to deal with nightmares about R. all night, who also needs prayer.  I literally know this woman from a single night, was grateful she gave me the opportunity to rest up and shower when I was homeless, and was puzzled when she screamed and yelled at me in the morning.  That, several years later, she would even still be “tripping” on that incident, is beyond me.  All night long I dreamed about her having some psychotic obsession with me and stalking me all the way up to Northern Idaho.

For people who think that Facebook is “no big deal” — possibly even for my friend Todd himself (?) — my concerns may seem over the top.  After all, not everybody has an addictive personality, and many people “manage” the site very well.  But my premise is that the site itself is evil, and from the very pit of hell, to the same extent that a drug like crystal methamphetamine is evil, and from that same pit.

Any site that would post a link to “request account deletion” (as though account deletion ought to be a “request” and not a willful choice), and then tell you to fill out a certain form if you would like for your account to be deleted after your death raises a major red flag. Why anyone would support the money-loving evil in Mark Zuckerberg is far more baffling to me than why anyone would support Donald Trump.  Both baffle.  One baffles more.

Todd, I posted an article by a Christian woman named Ashley Slack.  Jan and I read this last night and were both extremely impressed.   I also have written this article: By Nature.

One response to that article, when posted on Facebook, was a recommendation from a certain well-meaning friend on how I ought to deal with “depression.”  This is due in part to the fact that because the first sentence alludes to depression, one might think that the entire article is about my personal depression.  Anyone reading that article in its entirety (which the well-meaning friend had not done) would discern easily that it had nothing to do with depression, but with a far more important subject than my own personal mental state.

However, this well-meaning friend then proceeded, quite innocently, to advise me on my timeline as to how to address depression, thus leading all of my hundreds of Facebook “friends” to believe I was in a depressed state.  What would logically have ensued would be a gigantic discussion on an open timeline about a problem that I simply did not have.

When I tried to tell this well-meaning friend about this, he suggested that I was “getting all bent out of shape over nothing.”  Well, maybe to him it is nothing, but to me, I certainly don’t need hundreds of people believing I am depressed (which I am not) anymore than I needed for hundreds of people to believe that I am a self-serving person who believes in retaliating against people who live indoors (as R. was saying) simply on the basis of my having left some water on a bathroom floor and, apparently, blocked a doorway, during the single night I slept at this woman’s house (on the couch) and had to deal with her screaming and yelling at me in the morning for no reason that I was aware of.

That this woman R. would even still be thinking about this isolated event from several years ago is testament to just how many kooks and creeps abound on the timelines of various Facebooks the whole world wide.

Finally, I wrote this article: The End of an Era.  And guess what?  The era did not end.

Facebook makes it far too easy to re-instate an account one is desperately trying to remove, and far too difficult to delete the account. In fact, the easiest “deletion” link to find leads you to believe that the account cannot be deleted until after death.  That is sick.

Also sick:

Facebook is a Living, Breathing Crime Scene.

The Naked Truth About Facebook’s Revenge Porn Tool

Facebook’s Tracking Cookies (European Report)

Facebook Routinely Suppressed Conservative News

How Facebook’s Tentacles Reach Further Than You Think

You want more?   I got ’em.   Here is a list of 66 sites that Facebook has unilateraterally deleted in the past two weeks – unilaterally, mind you.  None of these sites were in violation of Facebook Terms of Service.  Yet they seem to have something suspiciously in common:

  1. Collectively Conscious (915K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  2. Natural Cures Not Medicine (2.3M followers) – Deleted on June 11th, 2018.
  3. I Want to Be 100% Organic (700K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  4. Viral Alternative News (500K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  5. Organic Health (230K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  6. Natural Cures From Food (120K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  7. Heart Centered Rebalancing (3.9M followers) –
  8. Awareness Act
  9. Conscious Life News
  10. Living Traditionally (570K followers) – Unpublished on June 5th, 2018.
  11. Organic Wellness (600K followers) – Unpublished on June 5th, 2018.
  12. Chocolate Socrates (608K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  13. Earth We Are One
  14. Meditation Masters – Deleted in early June, 2018
  15. People’s Awakening
  16. Nikola Tesla
  17. Interesting Stories
  18. The Warrior
  19. Natural Health Warriors
  20. Tech Explorers
  21. Universe Explorers
  22. Area 51
  23. The Global Meditation
  24. Video Explorers
  25. com
  26. Flower of Life
  27. EWAO
  28. Global Freedom Movement (27K followers) – Deleted on June 19th, 2018.
  29. Health & Alternative Medicine (550K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  30. Pure Nature (1.7M followers) – Deleted on June 3rd, 2018.
  31. Nature Gallery (654K followers) – Deleted on June 3rd, 2018.
  32. Mesmerizing Nature (912K followers) – Deleted on June 3rd, 2018.
  33. Nature’s Touch (150K followers) – Deleted on June 3rd, 2018.
  34. Healthy Life Box (1.8M followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  35. Healthy Food House (3.4M followers) –
  36. Health Awareness (2.5M followers) –
  37. Healthy Life And Food (350K followers) – Deleted on May 23rd, 2018.
  38. Check These Things (80K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  39. Health Care Above All (90K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  40. Health and Healthy Living (450K followers) –
  41. Health & Alternative Medicine (550K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  42. Healthy Living Motivation (644K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  43. Alternative Health Universe (420K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  44. Natural Medicine Corner (411K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  45. Organic Health Team (490K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  46. Global Health Care (130K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  47. Healthy Alternative Medicine (140K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  48. Natural Healthy Team (190K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  49. Organic Food Medicine (30K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  50. Love, Health and Happiness (10K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  51. Healthy Organic Life (25K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  52. Healthy Lifestyle (55K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  53. Guardian of Health (160K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  54. Daily Health Keeper (190K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  55. Health & Love Page (720K followers) – Deleted on June 5th, 2018.
  56. Diabetes Health Page (180K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  57. The Beauty of Power (170K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  58. Nutrition Facts and Analysys (170K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  59. Deeper Perspectives (32K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  60. My Own Little World (1.5m) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  61. Brighten Your Soul (100k plus) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  62. Essence OF Spirit ( 12k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  63. We really like animals (544k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  64. Nature’s Majesty (191k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  65. Nature Magic (33k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  66. Floral Photobook (160k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018

Hmmm — payola from the Medical-Pharmaceutical Industry?   Really, peeps.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist.  Finally:

To seek popularity
has nothing whatsoever to do
with Christian Love.
To collect friends,
to collect “likes”
or seek a greater number thereof,
are abominations in the eyes of a Loving God.

(And you can put a “thus saith the Lord” on that one.)

Sure, we want to send pictures of our children and our vacation locations to close friends and family.  But do we really need for a world full of child molesters, thieves, and thugs to know our whereabouts or see our children’s faces?

I knew a Christian pastor who was a “friends collector.”  Last I checked (two years ago) this man had 2,617 “friends.”  People would tell me: “None of Pastor C.’s friends are people to worry about.”  Yet among his “friends” were hardened criminals in the community who had hit me on the head with guns and stolen my laptop.

Do you think for one minute that these criminals have Facebook accounts because they like people?  Not at all.  They use Facebook in order to gain information as to user’s whereabouts, track them down, rob from them, assault them, and (in some cases) kill them.

Remember, all of this started out when a badly needed demo recording of my musical Eden in Babylon was made impossible without my resuming my Facebook account only because it was the only way I could expect to get a hold of the singers I’d spent months saving up the money to hire.

And then — the evil power of Facebook prevailed over my best intentions, to this day.

Hopefully, only to this day.

Please join me in my prayer that One Day at a Time, I will never log onto Facebook again.  And — while I cannot tell anyone else how to lead their Internet and device-based lives, I can only implore you all (including those in the bcc field) to consider that the words I am speaking might be the truth.

In the name of Jesus, I write.  AMEN.

Grace and Peace,

Andy

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
Anything Helps – God Bless!

 

A Question Re: My Royal Rhapsody

I’m kind of a dunce at these modern-day Internet-related matters, so please bear with me.

I was trying to post a piano piece, because today is Friday, and I try to turn these kinds of things in on Friday.  Piano pieces, that is.  (Maybe you’ve noticed that).

This time, I played a twelve minute piano piece that I composed that leads into a singing part – a three-movement “rhapsody” called “The Royal Rhapsody.”

It took nine hours to upload to youtube.  I did it overnight.

I was trying to publish it, but before I could click “publish” somehow the browser window disappeared.

When I reopened the browser, I can’t find the piece.

Did I lose it?  If so, will I have to endure the whole nine hour upload again?

If anyone knows how to help me with this, please comment.

Thank you.

 

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
Anything Helps – God Bless!