Q. What’s going on inside?
Q. Uncertainty about what?
A. About whether I ought to contact a group of theologians.
A. University professors interested in theology.
Q. Why would you want to contact them?
A. To vindicate myself.
Q. Were you falsely accused?
A. I believe so, yes.
Q. What was their accusation?
A. That I did not make any sense.
A. When I expressed my personal theological conjecture.
Q. Which is?
A. I call it “The Clone Theory of Creation.”
Q. What’s that?
A. Hard to express. Otherwise they wouldn’t have told me I wasn’t making sense.
Q. Give it a try?
A. That’s why I’m here.
The Answerer clears his throat.
A. Simply stated, the Clone Theory of Creation intends to demonstrate a parallel between the creation of life by God and the scientific replication of life that occurs during genetic cloning.
Q. What inspired this theory?
A. Genesis 1:26. “Let us make Man in Our Image.”
Q. You believe that when God made Man in Their Image, it was like scientists cloning a human embryo, and thus creating a replicate in the image of the embryo?
Q. Isn’t that a bit far-fetched?
A. One would think so at first. However, I later found numerous Scriptures that appear to confirm the hypothesis.
Q. Why did the theologians think you weren’t making sense?
A. Probably because I wasn’t! I’d never really tried to express the theory before, and when I did, I became extremely tongue-tied. I must have rambled for five minutes, before the professor to my right put his hand on my shoulder, and said: “Andy, I hate to break it to you, but nothing you’ve said in the past five minutes has made any sense at all.”
Q. What happened then?
A. I was embarrassed. I felt my face turn beet red. And I told them so.
Q. Are you sure that not one of those professors thought you were making any sense?
A. Quite sure. There was, however, a young man present — a student — who approached me afterwards. He assured me that the theory had made sense to him. But he also said something that discouraged me.
Q. What was that?
A. He said: “I followed your theory, and I thought you were making sense. But in deference to your age, wisdom, and maturity, I would like to suggest that even you, Andy, know that your theory is OUT THERE.”
Q. How did you feel then?
A. Shot down.
A. Probably because of my ego. You see, at the previous such meeting of theologians, I felt that I was shining unusually brightly. A respected professor emeritus of philosophy even expressed a desire to have lunch with me sometime — a man held in high regard, who had spent three years in India with the Maharishi, and wrote a book about Gandhi. People seemed to admire me for my biblical knowledge, as well as my knowledge of denominational differences.
Q. How did you pick up your knowledge of denominational differences?
A. Probably by losing jobs as a piano player with just about every denomination on the planet. But, despite looming loss of job, I always enjoyed soaking in the sermons, and comparing those of one denominational slant to that of another. My history of failed church jobs reads like a class in “Comparative Christianity.”
Q. So you felt that you had really shone at the previous meeting?
Q. Then what?
A. Then my ego told me I had an image to maintain! So I went to the next meeting eager to sustain my positive image, in the eyes of the professors present.
A. Because of that egoistic expectation, I tried too hard to prove myself. And in trying too hard, I failed.
Q. Is there a moral to this story?
A. There certainly is.
Q. And the moral is?
A. Ditch the ego, dude. Just be yourself.
Q. Anything else?
A. Yes. I’d like to ask a question of you, and of my readers.
Q. What is the question?
A. Am I making any sense?
The Questioner is silent.
All content © Andy Pope
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