All right.  Here goes.  I hate this part — and I’m going to do it as quickly and honestly as possible.

This has been dragging on since March 4, 2017.  Almost a year now.  My ability to package my musical — that is, to complete the expected package to be submitted (electronically or non-electronically) to theater companies interested in producing new works is at a complete standstill because of my lack of filthy lucre.

I’m a hard-working guy on a fixed income with a disability.  I spent a long time writing a musical — a good musical, to the estimation of the nine or ten people who have read the script — and I need money in order to package this thing.

Right now I’ve got food and coffee in my cupboard, no money whatsoever, and I don’t care.  I am not going to suffer for basic needs in a small college community with a decent food bank, and decent friends who try to make sure that I eat right.  I repeat — I do not care about personal needs.  One way or the other, they are being met.

What I care about is getting this demo recorded and moving forward from there.  My experience as of the past 10+ months is that it is not happening without money, and that it will probably happen with it.   OK how about this:

(1) I’ve limited this demo to three songs, all completely scored.  I can play the piano myself and/or use my Finale notation tracks to get the singers to sing over.  But no I will not sing over these tracks myself!  I carefully created detailed harmonies to back up the solos, and switches in ranges of the solos that pertain to switches in the different characters singing the songs.  The purpose of the demo is to demonstrate what is actually happening in the show — not the fact that I know how to sing and play a piano.  

To record this demo, I either have to find singers who will work for free — which has of the past ten months proved both impossible and depressing — so I’m feeling that if I could at least post an ad and honestly state that I have some money to pay them, then a singer who needs money will answer the ad.  Probably a lot of singers.  The ones I’ve talked to around here — well, they basically said: “pay up, buddy.” And well they should!  Why on earth should well-trained musicians and singers be expected to work for free??

I earlier said $125 for each singer.  Let’s be realistic and bump that up to $150.  And I’ll be one of the singers.  I don’t need to be paid, obviously.  I earlier said I needed five more.  I’ll settle for three more – I can overdub where needed, and it will be easier to work with a smaller number of Artists.  3 x 150 is 450 — so I need $450 for the singers.  

(2) My experience of the past 10+ months is that nobody will let me borrow their singing mike.  Seriously.  Why should they?  I earlier had one that cost $40, it kinda sucked and I sold it at a pawn shop at the end of the month one time when I was starving.   I need $70 for the singing mike to record the demo.

(3) Believe it or not, in this day and age, some of the companies are still not accepting electronic submissions.   I need an unknown number of hard copy scripts, but if we start with six of them, that will be a good start, because I need them for my workshop too.  That’s a conservative guestimate, but the single hard copy I made cost me $25.   So let’s say, $150 for scripts.

(4) Postage is approximately $7.50 on these puppies, and remember I need to burn the demo to CD’s and stick the CD’s in there as well. I can get a cheap five-pack of CD’s at Walgreens for two bucks, so say I send out four of them, have two hard copies left to spare, and we’re talking $7.50 x 4 = $30 for postage, and let’s not worry about the five pack because if somebody can’t get me a handful of spare CD-R’s then I really am a schmuck.  

(5) When I did this before in 2006, travel expenses were part of the picture because I paid them for the singers to get to the studio, but let’s scratch the unknown miscellany.  I also had to pay a studio engineer, but we’re not going to get that weird.  I’ll record all of this in my living room, once I have the sway power of the dough.  Therefore let’s do the math and somebody please come up with $700 for the total package, so I can move forward on this thing and no longer be living in a constant world of total artistic frustration based on the fact that I spent five years creating a decent traditional musical with a positive message of hope for the world and despite the fact that lots of people with money say they are rooting for my success nobody seems willing to kick it down or, in most cases, even answer my emails.

Maybe it’s the way I’m coming across.  Do you want me to come across differently?  Then KICK IT DOWN!   Daylight’s burning.  We don’t have all night! LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.


(6) Send the money to Danielle.  I don’t want anybody to even think that because I have Bipolar One disorder, I’m going to go on some kind of manic spending spree if I get seven hundred bucks.   If this doesn’t work, and I still can’t get the singers together for this demo, and I still can’t get the money for the hard copies, and I still can’t get the postage together and the CD’s and send this thing out to theatre companies where I have worked and am respected – then your money back.  

By the way, I know one of you has the money.  You hinted.  But if you’re waiting for me to change my personality over this thing, you’re waiting on the wrong man.   I hope this will be my last pitch for money.  I have a guy working on marketing now, and he’ll take over after this.   I hate money, the thought of it, the subject of it, and anything having to do with it — with a passion.

(7) Anybody expressing concerns about my “mental health” can expect to receive a pie in their face.   My mental health will improve considerably once I’ve finally gotten the show packaged.  I will say that I wish to avoid what happened during a certain five-month period that ensued when I realized that I needed money and wasn’t getting it.  So if I seem a bit virulent, I do have personal health considerations to consider.  But mark that word — personal.   Enough said.   

Enough said!

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