An Open Letter to All Believers Who Use Facebook

Brothers & Sisters:

I need prayer for Facebook addiction.  I don’t want to ever have to log on to that site again.   My mind becomes flooded with Facebook-related matters in such a way that interferes with my focus on the important things.  This even happened in counseling with Pastor Norman yesterday.

I was off of Facebook, hopefully for good, for about five or six weeks, not wanting to return to it.  The only reason I came back is because I found it impossible to communicate with the singers on my demo project by email or phone.  They wouldn’t return emails or phone calls when I was trying to organize rehearsals.  Erika (one of the singers) said I should start a Facebook if I wanted to talk to them.

Begrudgingly, I returned to Facebook.  All the singers accepted my Facebook friend requests immediately and I was then able to organize rehearsals and a studio date.  The problem on my end is that it then led to a progressive illness with regards to Facebook.  I’ve begun to think a lot about people whom I haven’t known for decades and never knew very well to begin with.  I’ve begun to think a lot about situations in Berkeley, where I haven’t lived for almost two years ago.   Basically, the “Old Story” was being fed, and the “New Story” being starved.

Yesterday, to cap it all off, I saw I had a message from my friend Todd, to whom this email is cc’d.  Because it was Todd, and not just any old Facebook “friend,”  I logged on to Facebook to check the message, even though I’d told everybody I was going to “take a break” from the site.  He had a video I could use for Homeless Lives Matter, a very compelling video that was appropriate for that site.  It was called “Homeless People Read Mean Tweets.”  It showed a number of homeless people sitting around reading anti-homeless tweets that were very mean-spirited, as well as, in most cases, ignorant.  So I shared it to the site.

Immediately, a woman named R. made a comment that “people who are housed” read mean tweets, too.  Long story short, by the end of the night, the comments section on Homeless Lives Matter was full of an argument between R. and somebody named Georgia who objected to her attitude.  It included a lengthy account about how R. had let me stay over at her house and how I left water on the floor after taking a shower and “blocked a doorway,” both of which events are plausible, but neither of them memorable.

(I do recall in those days that people frequently objected to manifestations of my absent-minded nature when, on rare occasions, they permitted me to shower at their homes or sleep on their couches.   I object, as you know. to these same manifestations, which occur to this day.  Absent-mindedness is probably the biggest problem I have now, holding me back more than any other idiosyncrasy.)

In any case, this woman — whom I only know from a single occasion — went on and on about how self-absorbed and self-preoccupied I am, only caring about myself and my music, not having consideration for her needs, and so forth.  In other words, this woman whom I had known for exactly one night flagrantly assassinated my character on a timeline where 600 members of the group I started in Berkeley could read it.  I am not an Admin of that group and no power to remove the inflammatory posts, so I simply deleted the video.

My lady friend Jan later said that this “highlights” the whole insanity of the Facebook phenomenon.  People don’t take the evils of Facebook seriously enough.  I have had friends post extremely personal information on my timeline, much of it completely erroneous or even stuff that would endanger their own security.  Then they wonder why I am removing their comments.  The world does need to know their personal business, or mine, and it baffles me why people won’t at least keep such comments in Messenger, where they are directed only toward the person for whom they are intended.

In any case, I need prayer for this addiction, because I had to deal with nightmares about R. all night, who also needs prayer.  I literally know this woman from a single night, was grateful she gave me the opportunity to rest up and shower when I was homeless, and was puzzled when she screamed and yelled at me in the morning.  That, several years later, she would even still be “tripping” on that incident, is beyond me.  All night long I dreamed about her having some psychotic obsession with me and stalking me all the way up to Northern Idaho.

For people who think that Facebook is “no big deal” — possibly even for my friend Todd himself (?) — my concerns may seem over the top.  After all, not everybody has an addictive personality, and many people “manage” the site very well.  But my premise is that the site itself is evil, and from the very pit of hell, to the same extent that a drug like crystal methamphetamine is evil, and from that same pit.

Any site that would post a link to “request account deletion” (as though account deletion ought to be a “request” and not a willful choice), and then tell you to fill out a certain form if you would like for your account to be deleted after your death raises a major red flag. Why anyone would support the money-loving evil in Mark Zuckerberg is far more baffling to me than why anyone would support Donald Trump.  Both baffle.  One baffles more.

Todd, I posted an article by a Christian woman named Ashley Slack.  Jan and I read this last night and were both extremely impressed.   I also have written this article: By Nature.

One response to that article, when posted on Facebook, was a recommendation from a certain well-meaning friend on how I ought to deal with “depression.”  This is due in part to the fact that because the first sentence alludes to depression, one might think that the entire article is about my personal depression.  Anyone reading that article in its entirety (which the well-meaning friend had not done) would discern easily that it had nothing to do with depression, but with a far more important subject than my own personal mental state.

However, this well-meaning friend then proceeded, quite innocently, to advise me on my timeline as to how to address depression, thus leading all of my hundreds of Facebook “friends” to believe I was in a depressed state.  What would logically have ensued would be a gigantic discussion on an open timeline about a problem that I simply did not have.

When I tried to tell this well-meaning friend about this, he suggested that I was “getting all bent out of shape over nothing.”  Well, maybe to him it is nothing, but to me, I certainly don’t need hundreds of people believing I am depressed (which I am not) anymore than I needed for hundreds of people to believe that I am a self-serving person who believes in retaliating against people who live indoors (as R. was saying) simply on the basis of my having left some water on a bathroom floor and, apparently, blocked a doorway, during the single night I slept at this woman’s house (on the couch) and had to deal with her screaming and yelling at me in the morning for no reason that I was aware of.

That this woman R. would even still be thinking about this isolated event from several years ago is testament to just how many kooks and creeps abound on the timelines of various Facebooks the whole world wide.

Finally, I wrote this article: The End of an Era.  And guess what?  The era did not end.

Facebook makes it far too easy to re-instate an account one is desperately trying to remove, and far too difficult to delete the account. In fact, the easiest “deletion” link to find leads you to believe that the account cannot be deleted until after death.  That is sick.

Also sick:

Facebook is a Living, Breathing Crime Scene.

The Naked Truth About Facebook’s Revenge Porn Tool

Facebook’s Tracking Cookies (European Report)

Facebook Routinely Suppressed Conservative News

How Facebook’s Tentacles Reach Further Than You Think

You want more?   I got ’em.   Here is a list of 66 sites that Facebook has unilateraterally deleted in the past two weeks – unilaterally, mind you.  None of these sites were in violation of Facebook Terms of Service.  Yet they seem to have something suspiciously in common:

  1. Collectively Conscious (915K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  2. Natural Cures Not Medicine (2.3M followers) – Deleted on June 11th, 2018.
  3. I Want to Be 100% Organic (700K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  4. Viral Alternative News (500K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  5. Organic Health (230K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  6. Natural Cures From Food (120K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  7. Heart Centered Rebalancing (3.9M followers) –
  8. Awareness Act
  9. Conscious Life News
  10. Living Traditionally (570K followers) – Unpublished on June 5th, 2018.
  11. Organic Wellness (600K followers) – Unpublished on June 5th, 2018.
  12. Chocolate Socrates (608K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  13. Earth We Are One
  14. Meditation Masters – Deleted in early June, 2018
  15. People’s Awakening
  16. Nikola Tesla
  17. Interesting Stories
  18. The Warrior
  19. Natural Health Warriors
  20. Tech Explorers
  21. Universe Explorers
  22. Area 51
  23. The Global Meditation
  24. Video Explorers
  25. com
  26. Flower of Life
  27. EWAO
  28. Global Freedom Movement (27K followers) – Deleted on June 19th, 2018.
  29. Health & Alternative Medicine (550K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  30. Pure Nature (1.7M followers) – Deleted on June 3rd, 2018.
  31. Nature Gallery (654K followers) – Deleted on June 3rd, 2018.
  32. Mesmerizing Nature (912K followers) – Deleted on June 3rd, 2018.
  33. Nature’s Touch (150K followers) – Deleted on June 3rd, 2018.
  34. Healthy Life Box (1.8M followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  35. Healthy Food House (3.4M followers) –
  36. Health Awareness (2.5M followers) –
  37. Healthy Life And Food (350K followers) – Deleted on May 23rd, 2018.
  38. Check These Things (80K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  39. Health Care Above All (90K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  40. Health and Healthy Living (450K followers) –
  41. Health & Alternative Medicine (550K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  42. Healthy Living Motivation (644K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  43. Alternative Health Universe (420K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  44. Natural Medicine Corner (411K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  45. Organic Health Team (490K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  46. Global Health Care (130K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  47. Healthy Alternative Medicine (140K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  48. Natural Healthy Team (190K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  49. Organic Food Medicine (30K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  50. Love, Health and Happiness (10K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  51. Healthy Organic Life (25K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  52. Healthy Lifestyle (55K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  53. Guardian of Health (160K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  54. Daily Health Keeper (190K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  55. Health & Love Page (720K followers) – Deleted on June 5th, 2018.
  56. Diabetes Health Page (180K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  57. The Beauty of Power (170K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  58. Nutrition Facts and Analysys (170K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  59. Deeper Perspectives (32K followers) – Deleted on June 13th, 2018.
  60. My Own Little World (1.5m) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  61. Brighten Your Soul (100k plus) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  62. Essence OF Spirit ( 12k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  63. We really like animals (544k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  64. Nature’s Majesty (191k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  65. Nature Magic (33k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018
  66. Floral Photobook (160k) – Deleted on June 21, 2018

Hmmm — payola from the Medical-Pharmaceutical Industry?   Really, peeps.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist.  Finally:

To seek popularity
has nothing whatsoever to do
with Christian Love.
To collect friends,
to collect “likes”
or seek a greater number thereof,
are abominations in the eyes of a Loving God.

(And you can put a “thus saith the Lord” on that one.)

Sure, we want to send pictures of our children and our vacation locations to close friends and family.  But do we really need for a world full of child molesters, thieves, and thugs to know our whereabouts or see our children’s faces?

I knew a Christian pastor who was a “friends collector.”  Last I checked (two years ago) this man had 2,617 “friends.”  People would tell me: “None of Pastor C.’s friends are people to worry about.”  Yet among his “friends” were hardened criminals in the community who had hit me on the head with guns and stolen my laptop.

Do you think for one minute that these criminals have Facebook accounts because they like people?  Not at all.  They use Facebook in order to gain information as to user’s whereabouts, track them down, rob from them, assault them, and (in some cases) kill them.

Remember, all of this started out when a badly needed demo recording of my musical Eden in Babylon was made impossible without my resuming my Facebook account only because it was the only way I could expect to get a hold of the singers I’d spent months saving up the money to hire.

And then — the evil power of Facebook prevailed over my best intentions, to this day.

Hopefully, only to this day.

Please join me in my prayer that One Day at a Time, I will never log onto Facebook again.  And — while I cannot tell anyone else how to lead their Internet and device-based lives, I can only implore you all (including those in the bcc field) to consider that the words I am speaking might be the truth.

In the name of Jesus, I write.  AMEN.

Grace and Peace,

Andy

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
Anything Helps – God Bless!

 

Gratitude List 809

1. Ran the 5-K Charity Trot on Saturday morning, and it was not a big deal.

2. Terry wrote to say he will be publishing Rat Race or Human Race? and A Sacrifice of the Heart in the May issue of Street Spirit.  

3. Just awoke from out a two hour nap.   Feeling rested and motivated.

4. Ramifications of the Thursday night reading of Eden in Babylon are only today crystallizing in my consciousness.   To strike while the iron’s hot seems prudent.

5. During the reading, I noticed things about my script I’d never quite fully noticed before.  Good things – things that hold promise.

6. Running the race tuned me back in to the whole running realm, how much I love it.  Also learned of the Thursday night social run, the hours when the Kibbie Dome track is open freely to the public, and other aspects of the Palouse Running Club that will help me to stay on the roads.

7. Friday morning at the Center, Tim & Darrell both told me I seem more at peace with myself these days.

8. Jan and I are getting along remarkably well; and getting reacquainted is a marvelous adventure.

9. I feel that here in Moscow, I have managed to sync into a groove that seems very productive, pleasant, and fulfilling.   I just really feel like I am in the right place for myself and others, at this time.

10. Also, life is much less stressful now that there is no more interference from Facebook.  God is indeed Good.   

 

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Anything Helps – God Bless!

Tuesday Tuneup Four

Q. Do you know who I am?

A. No.

Q. Then why have you summoned me?

A. Because I am disgusted.

Q. Disgusted?  With what?  With whom?

A. Disgusted with a lot of things, but mostly with myself – and with a certain Internet site that has been the number one stumbling block to my success for just about as long as I can remember.

Q. And what site is that?

A. You know what site it is!   Read this!

Five minutes elapse, as the Questioner complies.

facebook cocaineQ. But wasn’t that over three months ago?

A. Sure it was.  So what?

Q. So why didn’t it solve the problem?

A. Because I was sorely mistaken. Facebook does not require one to know one’s previous password in order to change to a new one.  Sadly enough, I was able to log on again by providing verification through my email address or phone number – without having to know my previous password.

Q. Well then, why did you not simply desist from logging on?

A. Because I decided I needed a personal Facebook in order to be active on a certain Facebook group, and to chat with the woman who admins the group, whom I consider to be a dear friend of mine.

Q. Why couldn’t you chat with her on G-Mail?  On Skype?  Or on Snapchat?  Or KIK?

A. I don’t know.

Q. Can’t you just email her?

A. I’ve sent her scores of emails.  But she never checks her email.

Q. What about calling her on the phone?

A. She doesn’t have a phone.

Q. Do you mean that she only communicates on Facebook?

A. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that.  But she sure only communicates with me on Facebook.  It was different when we lived just around the corner from each other.  But now we’re 900 miles apart.  :(

Q. Are you saying this dear friend of yours forces you to have a Facebook, which you hate, in order to talk to her, whom you love?

A. Something like that.

Q. So how close of a friend is she?

A. That, sir, is a very good question.

The Questioner is silent.

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
Anything Helps – God Bless!

 

The End of an Era

It has now been 92 hours since I made it impossible for me to log on to Facebook. How did I do this? It was simple.

I opened Notepad.  Then, I created a random password consisting of about thirty-five random characters in a row that I produced by closing my eyes and doing a big piano glissando up and down the computer keyboard.   I copied it, put it in the “change password” field on Facebook, and promptly deleted it from Notepad.  Then I logged off.

Since Facebook requires one to post their old password prior to creating a new one, and since I now have no idea what my old password is, I will simply never log on to Facebook again.

Why did I do this?   Let’s look at the hard facts.

(1) I just punched in facebook.com on my browser to see how many notifications I had received in the past 92 hours.  Interestingly, the number is 184.  That’s twice 92 – and I kid you not.  This means I was receiving one notification every half an hour.

Now, let’s say I would spend fifteen minutes addressing each notification.  (That, by the way, is a very conservative estimate, knowing me.)  15 times 184 amounts to 2,760.  2,760 minutes amounts to 46 hours.  In the 92 hour period of time, that means I would have spent half my time on Facebook, dealing with the notifications alone.  Can I afford to spend half my time on Facebook?   No, I cannot.

(2) I am a person who has been diagnosed with severe adult attention hyperactive deficit disorder, otherwise known as ADHD.  What this means, as far as Facebook is concerned, is that whatever stimulus is the strongest and most immediate will be the one that grabs my attention. 

One morning, for example, I logged onto Facebook in order to grab a video from my daughter’s video files to send to a friend of mine.  Before I could find the video, a friend of mine who was feeling depressed logged on, and I spent two hours in an effort to console him.  Point is, his depression struck me as being of more immediate importance than the elusive video my daughter had made, which was buried somewhere deep within her video files, and therefore less immediate.  Once my friend was comforted, no sooner did I begin once again to look for the video, when another friend of mine showed up,  wanting to discuss a subject about which I am passionate.  Her passion striking me as being of more immediate importance than my daughter’s video, I quite passionately discussed the important subject with her for another two hours. Then I had to go to work.  In the meantime, I forgot all about the video, which was the only reason I had logged onto Facebook in the first place.  Thus are the effects of Adult ADHD.

(3) As one who is Sicilian by genetic predisposition, I have a very difficult time letting go of the past.  It therefore stands to reason that if I want this situation to improve, I ought not to be hanging around too many people whom I knew in the past, and instead throw more of my focus on developing positive friendships in the present, that will lead me to a more positive future.   Moreover, reconciling with certain figures from the distant past has more than once proved to be disastrous.

And here’s where the story gets good:

(4) At one point in my life, I made a casual comment on my Facebook that was misinterpreted by a well-meaning Facebook friend.  All of a sudden, three cops came pounding on my door.  They handcuffed me, ransacked my hotel room for narcotics and firearms, (of which I had neither!) and hauled me off to an insane asylum.

I was released the next morning, but highly inconvenienced by the ordeal.  My blood pressure shot up sky high, and I had to sit on a gurney in an emergency room for about six and a half hours before it was low enough for me to be legally hauled away to the nearest local loony bin, twenty-five miles South of my hotel room.

There, I managed to convince the baffled psych techs that I was neither suicidal nor homicidal.  I was released in my T-shirt in freezing cold December weather, and I wandered around for three days until the debit card refund for my hotel room cleared to my account.  (Obviously, I lost the hotel room, where I had paid for a two week stay, because when the 9-1-1 team showed up to haul me off to the psychiatric pavilion, all of the tenants came out of their doors to see what all the ruckus was about; and due to the police involvement, the hotel manager did not want to rent to me any longer.  I also left most of my clothing in the room, along with some books.  The motel room owners claimed no responsibility for items life in the building.)

As for the Facebook friend who made the dubious 9-1-1 call?   Long story short, I basically never heard from him again, except for a total of exactly two fairly unpleasant interactions in the following four years.  Must not have been much of a friend.  But he sure seemed like a friend for a while there, because he was the only one out of my some 300 odd Facebook friends who was concerned enough about my well-being to even consider making such a call.  And this leads to my 5th reason:

(5) These hundreds of people on your Facebook “friends” list are by and large not your friends.  You think they are your friends, because you befriended them when you were both in your teens or early twenties, and it was wonderful to reconnect with them.  Perhaps they are friends of friends of yours, or maybe even friends of people who are not your friends.   You know how to find out who your friends are on Facebook?  It’s easy, which leads to my sixth reason:

(6) I gave my phone number and email address to all of my Facebook friends some time prior to my abrupt departure.   Outside of the handful of people whom I already knew to be my true friends, you know how many of them actually called me?   Exactly three.  Thank you, Paul, Mari, and Holly.  Now I know who my friends are.  :)

(7) When I found myself arguing politics pointlessly with a total stranger in New York City who would not only never change his mind, but was probably drunk off his butt and had no idea what I was even talking about, enough was enough.

What all of this points to is:

(8) I have had five Facebooks in the past ten years.  Every one of them started out fine, then in some way imploded.  Every time I started a new one, I mistakenly thought I had overcome my dysfunctional obsessive-compulsive addictive relationship with Facebook.  I was wrong.

What did Albert Einstein have to say about the matter?

einstein insanity

Touché.

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Anything Helps – God Bless!

 

By Nature

Note: I tried several times to post this on my facebook timeline (where it belongs) but they wouldn’t let me do so — for some reason.   So here goes.

BY NATURE (an excerpt from my personal diary)

It seems I often awaken in a depressed state these days.  But the depressed state usually is based on extreme black-and-white perceptions about what others think of me.  These perceptions soften within the first ten minutes of the day, as I gradually realize that everything can or should be viewed in black-and-white terms.  While it is true that I often feel extremely misunderstood, it is not the case that everybody misunderstands me.  I can think of four people who understand me right off the top: Norman, Kathy, Danielle, and Jack.  And I’m sure there are others — or at least there can be, if I branch out and start meeting the right people.  

Yesterday morning was a case in point.  black and whiteI awoke depressed as usual, but was able to transform the depression into a sense of quietude. In that quietude, I prayed for all the people who had been troubling me. Then I sipped my coffee, and it was the best coffee I had ever tasted. I felt blessed, for having done the right thing. I even felt I could go back to bed, and I had the time to do so, to catch more sleep before Writer’s Guild.

Instead, I logged on to Facebook. It wasn’t long before the sense of over-stimulation, combined with loss of control, me becoming rattled, my nerves being strip-mined, my balance off-set by all the notifications, buzzes, comments, etc. was too much for me. Trying to order my responses seeming next-to-impossible, while imposing chat windows pop up in the way of my efforts to moderate the new Lincoln Summer Theatre group, and all kinds of other stressors, gradually put me into battle mode, feeling as though I was a soldier in battle needing to fire at the nearest, most dangerous approaching tank.

My sense of peace shot up to high anxiety within an hour or so, as my sense of inability to control the Power Greater Than Myself that is Facebook expanded beyond all reasonable proportion. I enjoy being connected with wonderful people from the “past” (?) in the “present” (?), but isn’t this all a but unnatural? If there were a meeting in quote-un-quote “real life,” where there were twenty people in the group, and I didn’t like one of them, I would either stay in the group, or drop out of the group. I wouldn’t have the unnatural social power to simply “block” the person I didn’t like, not see him or hear any of his statements, and yet still interact with the other nineteen. This is unnatural.

It is unnatural, and is what is unnatural healthy for us? I begin to doubt it.

What is natural is that life runs its course from birth to death; we move from job to job, town to town, and in some cases, from marriage to marriage. I’m a Sicilian who has a hard time letting go of people, places and things. By nature, I am never done with anyone. By genetic nature, I either stay friends with them, or if they dump me, I am still not done with them, because I will track them down to the ends of the earth. By nature, I reward loyalty and punish betrayal. That’s my nature, and I struggle to overcome the extremism thereof by exercising restraint and observing traditional standards of morality and etiquette. For another person, this may not be so much of a struggle, because it is not their nature, and their nature may provide them with other struggles – as well as other strengths – naturally.

So is it healthy that I, who already is struggling against my nature telling me not to move on, not to let go of people, places, and things that haven’t worked out for me, to be enveloped in an atmosphere that continues to flash the very people in my face that I am already struggling to let go of? Twice now — and I am not faulting anyone for doing this out of utter innocence and good nature — I have had to see the face of a person whom I thought was a very good friend of mine, flashed in my face (so to speak) on Facebook Messenger, knowing that this person had told me never to talk to him again and that any further contact from me would be considered harassment.

This is not natural. It doesn’t happen in what we used to call “real life.” I would have never reconnected with that individual (on Facebook) to begin with. He would have been somebody I’d have stopped seeing whenever we first parted ways — by nature — back in the seventies or so.

I have enough trouble “moving on” and “letting go” as it is. Does anybody feel me?

Here’s what happened to me personally after I had been rattled yesterday morning by making the dumb decision to log on to Facebook at a moment of idle down time. I became progressively more uptight, and finally drained. I had only slept three hours anyway, and I figured I had about an hour to kill before Writer’s Guild, so I went down for more rest. But did I rest? No way.

Me personally, I was almost instantly assaulted by what seemed like a demon spirit from hell, grabbing ahold of my neck and my back, thrusting his/her arm around my waist, and taunting me with the words: “Okay, Mr. Wonderful – how does *that* grab you?”

Now I’m glad I no longer live in the State of California or a densely populated urban area, where even making that admission might cause somebody to dial 9-1-1 and I find all my artistic progress further delayed by yet another pointless stay in a psychiatric facility. Just for speaking my truth.

The point is, had I not logged onto Facebook, had I followed my gut and gone back to bed while in a rested state, I would not have become so uptight that I would have risked entering into an hour’s worth of hell in sleep paralysis, fully conscious of my surroundings, knowing that I was dreaming and having a specific sort of nightmare, and unable to move my body for an entire hour, except for rare intervals when I came to, through the use of a couple techniques I learned through research, and then descending into sleep paralysis again. It is not fun.

Nor is it caused by Facebook. But if that’s the kind of height of anxiety that Facebook can trigger (not *cause*) in me, (not *you*), then what the heck am I doing here? This is the 5th Facebook I’ve had in ten years. Every other one of them imploded. Who am I trying to fool? Will I be any better able to handle this Facebook than any of the others?

rotary telephoneOf course not.

So here’s what I am going to do. I am going to go down and get a rotary telephone, like we had back in the Good Old Days, when the phone would ring, and we all would simply answer it. We weren’t afraid of each other in those days. We didn’t have the unnatural power to block out any and every person we didn’t happen to want to deal with from our lives. We didn’t burn bridges left and right. We built them — in ways that are natural. I’m going to plug it in my wall, and I am going to make sure there is no Call Waiting in any form attached, no touch tone, nothing.

Even when two of my Facebook friends were cool enough to actually indulge my natural neurosis and agree to talk with me on the phone, the very next day I had to contend with the phenomenon of Call Waiting, whereby I couldn’t even get through a conversation with before the little “bloop bloop” that tells me somebody else is calling kept continually interrupting my focus, as though this new person calling in was the “most immediate and threatening danger on the battlefield.”

I’m not saying that you guys necessarily encounter these same difficulties. But there’s a reason why I do, and just has to do with the way I’m wired. Call it ADHD or what-have-you. Every single time a Facbeook Messenger box pops up while I’m trying to do something else, my attention is *immediately* diverted to the Messenger, I ex it off, and then I return to whatever I was doing before, asking myself, “Now, where was I?” Sometimes I even forget completely what I was doing before. Sometimes I even forget that what I was doing was the only reason I had logged on to Facebook in the first place, like, for example, to find somebody’s phone number that they had given me in a Facebook comment, or to ask the previous tenant of my new apartment how to turn on the heater.

THIS IS NOT NATURAL. And correct me if I’m wrong. Am I the only person who is tired of having to tolerate all these unnatural social media weirdnesses? Probably not. And that’s part of the reason why this time I will not destroy my Facebook, I will not give up yet again, only to find that I miss everybody, wonder how they’re all doing, and start a Facebook again. I will take my lumps, I will take my chances, and I will bow before the monarch that is Facebook, while at the same time doing my best to give homage to my own King, whose name, by the way, is Jesus.

So – not upset, not defeated, not exasperated, not infuriated. Just a little miffed, and figured it was about time I spoke my piece, as cogently and clearly as I can.

But do me a favor. Let’s not make this entirely about my “mental health,” OK? I decided my mental health was either shot to smithereens and irredeemable, or else completely irrelevant when I first made the decision on August 8, 2006 to drop out completely from the Mainstream of Modern American Life and try to become the best Writer I could be. After all, every effort to become the best Musician or Teacher I could be was pretty much consumed in a confluence of losing one job after another due to things like absent-mindedness, tardiness, or general inability to keep up with the insanely fast pace of workaday urban life.  I’ve got a fast enough pace going on inside me as it is, without anybody else having to add to that velocity.

I’m a Writer. I wrote an entire musical about social dropouts, why we drop out, and what we can all do about it. To hell with my mental health! Click on the link below, and LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.

Daylight’s burning. I’m not going to be around forever.

Please consider making an any amount donation to Eden in Babylon at this time.  The stuff that gets people interested in original musicals by unknown playwrights unfortunately does not grow on trees.   

can-do

Anything Helps
God Bless

Please note.  As of October 30, 2017, all donations to this cause will be sent to my assistant, Danielle Stephens.  Further information as to this arrangement may be found here.   Donations in any amount may be made safely here.   

Gratitude List 631

1. It is a relief to look at my computer screen and not have to see multiple Facebook messenger messages popping up with all kinds of over-stimulus from people who seem overexcited, getting in the way of everything I am trying to do.  The key is to simply log off of Facebook, then this maddening phenomenon does not occur.

2. I finally figured out how to use the Pocket Juice, and I should have a charge on my cell phone soon.

3. Every morning before I enter into the Inter-world, my thoughts are always about J, B, and E.  They are not thoughts of resentment, but thoughts of fear.  It is good to know what it is really on my mind — what the Internet is burying.  I pray that I be delivered from this heart of fear, and that they all come back to God, in His time.

4. The sadness I feel does not need to be despair.  The sadness can help me to see the error of my own thinking, and to turn my own heart back to God.  (2 Cor 7:10).  I didn’t feel that when I first awoke, but I feel it now, and therefore I have hope.

5. I was blessed to know that my list had blessed R.J. first thing yesterday morning.  I also met her kids, and I see that they’ve been brought up right.

6. Despite that Facebook appears in my head to be this horror that deceives the people, this massive thrust of urban pacification by the Powers That Be, designed to keep people from seeing what is actually going on in society, it nonetheless has brought me together with some very wonderful people whom otherwise I’d not have connected with.

7. I learned from the U.I. web site that the Hartung does rent out to independent contractors not associated with the University or the remains of Idaho Rep.  I can learn what the rates are, and plug that into the budget involving funding from the people who may be interested in helping me to self-produce my musical.  It’s also the perfect house size (417, I had aimed for 400), and has excellent lighting and sound facilities.

8. Having run out of coffee, I’m using Lipton tea bags that Young Paul left in the apartment.   They aren’t working yet, but I can get coffee for free at Gritman before long.

9. Nice of Cindi, my Presbyterian friend in South Carolina, to pass on her late husband’s running shoes.  Also huge of H. to help me with registration fees.

10. The sleep paralysis yesterday morning was horrible.  But sleep itself is a large part of the solution.  I’m rested now, and I’ve learned something.  Thank God for sleep.  God is making my crooked paths straight.