Gratitude List 1074

1. Slept deeply for 6 1/2 hours solid, from 9:30 to 4am, without having to get up once to go to the bathroom. First good night’s sleep in almost a week. Hallelujah.

2. I remembered to leave the mouse in the backpack last night so as to resist the urge to run to the computer and issue vitriol, if perchance I were to wake up in a rage. That said, I didn’t wake up in a rage (just a fog).

3. Pretty sure the manic phase is over.

4. Considering the time frame in which the nice long sleep occurred, it’s highly likely I can get myself organized and have a pretty productive day.

5. I have some good friends and a good support group these days. Given the weirdness of my personality, I’m pretty happy that I even have any friends at all. And the parts of me that are off-putting can also be put to use, because I’m just weird enough that people have a way of not wanting to approach me, which helps me to get more work done than would be the case if I were this really charismatic, attractive, appealing presence that everybody was drawn toward.

6. Somebody sent $25.

7. Looks like I have a nice email reply from Lynne. Skimming it, I see she agrees with my take on Part Two of Firefly Magic. She also says she’s been corresponding with Lauren lately, which is unusual and somewhat intriguing. I’ll look forward to digesting her words, as they tend to be brilliant, thought-provoking, and encouraging.

8. Lauren Sapala agreed to schedule a Skype call with me to discuss Firefly Magic and money-making implications in the modern world.

9. During the manic phase, it seems that my extraverted function was enhanced (to put it diplomatically). I contacted a number of people with whom I’ve not been in touch in quite some time, including Pastors C. & S. from the Berkeley realm, and my old friend Jean Anne from Stockton.  While this may have been a dubious choice, I couldn’t help but notice that the responses were generally very warm, and that every one of these people commented on how much better I sounded. If I sounded “better” during a manic phase when I was often angry and freaking out, how much better will I sound as I return to normalcy? There is indeed a sense of progress here.

10. Life holds promise. I doubt I’ll go hungry today. God is Good.

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Gratitude List 830

(1) I have a roof over my head.  (A lot of people don’t – and for a long time I didn’t either).

(2) Running water.   (There are people all over the world who lack it.)

(3) I can take a shower without having to wait in a long line with people whom I would worry might steal my things while I was showering.   (In fact, this is the first time in years that I have access to a shower without having to deal with other men trying to access the same shower.)

(4) Great 3 1/2 mile run three days ago, and nice 1 1/2 mile run before bedtime last night.  After all these years — specifically, since April 9, 1976 — I still have two strong legs and a good set of lungs.

(5) There are two comfortable spots to sleep in my apartment – a Queen size bed in the bedroom, and a cozy couch in the living room.  For many years, my mattress was three layers of cardboard on a concrete slab.  Nice to get a good night’s sleep.

(6) When I was homeless, my strengths were disregarded and my weaknesses illuminated.  Now that I am indoors, my weaknesses are overlooked, and my strengths revealed.

(7) I used to speak all kinds of misleading falsehoods in order to try and impress people.  Today I speak my truth — and if they don’t like it, don’t believe it, or don’t understand it, c’est la vie.  It’s easier on the spirit to speak the truth plainly, than to try and keep track of all those woeful webs we weave.

(8) This.

(9) I used to live here all alone, and was relieved and grateful, but lonely.   Now I live here with the woman I love — and am inspired, joyful, and fulfilled.  

(10) I was once rich in money, but lacking in faith.  Now I am lacking in money – but I am rich in faith.  I wouldn’t trade my present “poverty” for my past “wealth” for all the money in the world.   May the God of Love be Praised.

 

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