It’s really been frustrating me that I can’t get these simple piano pieces together. It should be an easy gig; I should be able to plan ahead and find somebody to help me. I should be able to afford to replace my smartphone; or, save up dutifully until I can afford one. But I keep showing myself that I can do none of these things. I try, and it all falls apart. Then I become discouraged, and I lose confidence, and I start thinking I’ll never get it together.
Today, for example, I made a point of tracking down someone who wouldn’t mind going over to the church with me with their smartphone so I could do the two-person job of making this piano recording. One of the volunteers at the Center gladly agreed. But he does have a mental health condition, as do all of us who frequent the Center.
His, however, is different than mine. When I asked him what his diagnosis was once, he told me that they had boiled it down to “Failure to Adapt.” (I’ve never personally heard of such a diagnosis, but I can believe it. I haven’t succeeded at “adapting” too well myself.)
So I was relieved and thrilled to be able to make a piano recording. We did it, and I think it took, and I think it sounded good, except for a few mistakes. But before I began to play the piece, following setup, he asked if he could “take a break.”
“Sure!” I said.
I then proceeded to wait for him for over two hours in the church. I became increasingly anxious. Believe me, with my absent-mindedness, I am the last person to be trusted with somebody’s device. I even misplaced the phone during the two hours when I was at the church, and had to scramble from room to room trying to find it.
When I called the Center to ask if he was there, they said he was not. They also reminded me that it’s company policy not to give out phone numbers of the people who have given their numbers to the Center. So I couldn’t call him.
When the two hour wait was over, I emailed him that I would go to the Center and leave his phone there in a safe place.
I went to the Center, and to my surprise, he was there! He never even came back to the church to get his phone. Now I begin to make sense of the “Failure to Adapt” diagnosis. When I spoke with him, there was clearly no idea in his head that he had even inconvenienced me, let alone did it register with him that I might not want to be responsible for his phone.
Neither he nor I could figure out how to find the iPhone equivalent of what is called the “gallery” on an Android. He then suggested that somebody named Matt would know what to do. I had to be at the clinic in about ten minutes, so I took off.
The good news is that there probably is a song or two on that phone somewhere. Then, I will have to upload it to my youtube channel, or maybe get some kind of drive I can get it on, so as to relieve him of further obligations. Probably, I can get it together by Wednesday, if I focus.
I don’t know. I’m just spent. Maybe I’ve made too big a deal out of the whole thing, but it just seems that some of you were getting into these piano offerings, and it sucks that I’m not getting it together. Like the quote says, “all failure is failure to adapt.” I guess I better start adapting.
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