Tuesday Tuneup Eleven

Q. Do you know who I am?

A. Probably.

Q. So why have you summoned me?

A. Because I am annoyed.

Q. What about?

A. It has to do with the Prayer of St. Francis.

prayer of saint francis

Q. You find this prayer annoying?

A. Not at all, sir.  I only find it annoying that I seem so lame when it comes to applying it.

Q. How so?

A. Well, take the part where he prays “not so much to be understood as to understand.”  I feel so misunderstood, it’s very hard for me to get past this frustrating urge to explain myself all the time.  But it would be better for everybody if I would instead open up my eyes and see where others are coming from.

Q. So you are annoyed by this personal quirk of yours?

A. Extremely annoyed.  And even more so when I see the same trait in a very close family member.  In my flesh and blood, there appears to be remarkably similar DNA.

Q. Can you elaborate?

A. Of course!  This person reaches the place where whatever anyone else says to her is utterly unimportant.  The only things that seem important are what she says to us.

Q. And you see yourself in this unenviable trait?

A. I do.  It comes from a feeling of being misunderstood.

Q. So how can you and this dear family member begin to make yourself more understood?

A. By listening more.  By seeking to understand.  For you see, people don’t care about what may constant explanations say.  They only care about the fact that I’m explaining myself.  It gets tiresome.  It exhausts them.  They would rather see me become interested in them, not in proving myself to them.   If they see that I am interested in them, they will then therefore become interested in me.  Law of karma.  What goes around comes around.  You reap what you sow.  All that good stuff.

Q. How can you begin to change?

A. By listening to her.  By not letting myself become exasperated when she constantly tries to explain herself.  By looking at her — and seeing in this mirror the Echo of Myself — and realizing that I am not alone.

The Questioner is silent.

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Anything Helps – God Bless!

 

Gratitude List 818

1. The birds are chirping outside my window; and not only that, but the sky is getting light at only 4:45 am.  It just feels so right to be up early and to see all this stuff happening out of my very own rented window.   I loved hearing the birds chirp at four in the morning when I slept on layers of cardboard on the dirt outside of East Bay Area Works.  And now that I have a nice one-bedroom apartment in a secluded setting nestled within an idyllic art-positive community, I love to hear them chirping even more.

2. Slept solidly for four hours last night – but I mean solidly.  At this stage, that’s fine.

3. Really good two mile run last night.  I was fleet.   One nice thing about the heat wave is that it’s going to be super nice to run in the early mornings (like at around this time) and also the evenings, when it’s nice and cool.

4. Thankful I’m not going to have to worry about wearing the spikes when I run.

5. Yesterday I both meditated for the second time (in this phase) and ran for the second time (in this phase) – and I mean back to back.   It’s one of the many reasons it’s so wonderful to be living with the woman I love.  She motivates me to do all the right things.

6. Adora Myers has my vote.  I don’t know what office we can get her to run for, but when she does, she has my vote.

7. In a few short hours, my 32 year old daughter will be driving up from California.  Starting tomorrow night, her car will be parked in my apartment parking lot.  So nice of her to offer us all three its use, as needed.  I will now get a State of Idaho driver license, and be driving again – for the first time in 14 years.

8. All four of my singers should be showing up to rehearse the music from Eden in Babylon tonight at the church containing the Baldwin grand piano I’ve been playing daily, the church that actually let me have a key to the building.  I also was able to reduce the cost of the demo by $125 by rearranging the men’s parts after one of the basses had to drop out.   So I only have $150 more to raise — and my demo will be affordable.  After all this time!

9. I don’t have a penny to my name; and yet I am more blessed than any man.

10. The Lord my God is Good.

Tuesday Tune-Up Two

Q.  Do you know who I am?

A.  Not exactly.  But I don’t think it’s relevant.

Q. So why have you summoned me?

A. Because it’s Tuesday.

Q. Tuesday?

A. You heard me.

Q. What have I got to do with Tuesday?

A. I don’t know.  It just kind of seemed like a good day to check in with you.

Q. You mean you’re going to see me every Tuesday?

A. Yes.

Q. Why?

A. Because it represents order.   Regularity.   Discipline.   Things that are sadly lacking in my chaotic life.

Q. Why is your life chaotic?

A. I think I’ve explained this already.   But I suppose it can bear review.   I made a drastic life change about a year and a half ago, in which the old standards and values began no longer to apply.  An effect of this shocking translation is that of chaos.

Q. But don’t you despise chaos?

A. I not only despise it — I am entirely threatened by it.   As a creative, I thrive on order.  There is no place for chaos in my ideal, beautiful world.

Q. Then what can be done to remove it?

meditation-key-loving-reaching-healthy-weightA. Meditation.

Q. Are you serious?

A. I am indeed.

Q. But isn’t meditation a device of the devil designed to make the mind open to demonic influences?

A. Oh, please.  I may be a Christian, but I’m not stupid.

Q. You aren’t?

A. I could conceivably be offended.  Of course I’m not stupid.  Only chaotic, convoluted, and confused.

Q. But how can meditation help you with this?  

A. I can’t tell you.  All I know is that the one time I dared to try it, the results were marvelous.

Q. How so?

A. I noticed all these bizarre thought patterns that had been holding me back.  And in noticing them, and accepting them, somehow they dissolved.

Q. Do you mean that when you were done meditating, you were no longer harangued by these processes?

A. Not for a while, I wasn’t.  A few of them later returned to me, along with some new ones.

Q. So what does this tell you?

A. That I should meditate every day.  It’s a place I need to revisit regularly, in order to get myself clear.

Q. So what’s stopping you?

A. What do you think?

The Questioner is silent.

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
Anything Helps – God Bless!