This is actually yesterday’s morning gratitude list. I scribbled it out very quickly before church, and didn’t look at it again until just now. As I saw and recollected what I wrote, it made me feel so grateful I just had to do something with it. So I posted it here on WordPress, yet again.
1. Got caught up on my sleep — it’s only eight o’clock.
2. Walked six miles again yesterday, and got into a good fast clip in the last two miles.
3. It’s only 47F degrees now, and no colder. I won’t dread walking to the church, but rather will enjoy the jaunt.
4. Just hopped out of a nice quick shower, am all dressed up and ready for church. This wouldn’t have happened in Berkeley. I remember one time having my cardboard laid out over dirt turned into mud by the rain outside of the Rubicon building, having to decide that a single sheet was better for shielding the rain than a warmer, heavier blanket, since the blanket caught all the moisture. The sheet wasn’t bad until I was forced to shake it off, then walked to the Lutheran Church of the Cross in a shivering state to teach the Bible Study. Life is much more conducive now.
5. Moscow, Idaho. I love this town more and more, the more I wake up to it.
6. Gorgeous, spectacular day yesterday at around noon when I was walking. Had a nice talk with Alex on the phone, about Judah Loew ben Bezalel, the legendary Maharal of Prague, and other subjects.
7. I really like the Writers I have met online on WordPress. They are very supportive, as well as in most cases knowledgeable and talented. It behooves me to read their work, most of which is available on the Kindle at a very low price, next month.
8. I’m feeling that early morning workaday mainstream buzz of high competent energy, the kind you feel when you look forward to being a part of the day ahead, a worker among workers, in America. I feel this way even though it’s Sunday and all I’m doing is going to church and singing in the Choir. But I also feel it a lot on the days when I volunteer now, and before Taize service. Think how much more often I will feel this wonderful workaday feeling, when I actually have a job.
9. Listening to “Oracle” right now – Version 17-C on the new 15-system template designed specifically for the Eden in Babylonorchestral score. Almost done with it. Why has it been easier to take on the more elaborate, intensely involved project than the earlier project of far less size and substance? It’s simple. This larger project is much more enjoyable, despite its intimidating grandeur.
10. I get to have breakfast at the Courtyard Cafe before church this morning. There are so many conveniences in my present life today for which to be grateful. In Berkeley, I’d have been having to stand in line in Provo Park with two hundred other homeless people, some of whom were of very dubious character, in order to get breakfast on Sunday. Fights would be breaking out, and all kinds of aggressive drug dealers would be roaming up and down the food line, issuing varying stages of irresistible offers and threats. Life is better today than it’s ever been. Glory to God on High.
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1.Slept well, from about 9 – 4:30, seven and a half hours or so.
2. Should have a good run this morning.
3. Did a six mile walk yesterday.
4. Got the check for the November article in Street Spirit.
5. Terry published “The Voices That Count” (changed the title to “The Class Gap”). This was the one I was hoping he would publish.
6. Got a really nice note from Sally, which I put up on my wall:
Hi dear Andy, Enclosed is a check to pay you for your wonderful November article. Thank you again for your deep concern for justice and compassion. It’s awesome having you as a contributor to Street Spirit. Love and blessings, Sally
7. I keep noticing how many things are so much easier now that I live indoors, and especially inside this spacious apartment, replete with commodity and accoutrement. I can take my own shower, I never lose my glasses any more, and everything is just where I want it.
8. Just downed a first cup of coffee and am feeling rested and alert. Coffee tastes great this morning — I think I’m finally getting the hang of the coffee maker, and what exactly to do with the grounds.
9. If I get that city job, I can buy a new computer after the first two weeks paychecks. Then, even if they were to let go of me after two weeks or so, I would still have acquired a computer out of the deal. (Not that I’m only in it for the computer, mind you.)
10. I get to sing with the Choir tomorrow. We’re going to do “For the Beauty of the Earth.” Also, I’ve begun working on “Oracle”— that being the next logical song to do with the new 15-system template — and the computer hasn’t freaked out yet. I noticed that some of the lyrics, written hastily toward the End of Act One, are inconsistent with the (minor) characters as they had developed. But this is a good thing. I can work from there — backwards and forwards — and the character development will be stronger, less puzzling, and more engaging. Life is Good, and God is Love.
As I wrote the words “End of Act One” at the bottom of p.86, I looked at the computer clock. It was 6:45am.
No – I did not stay up all night. True, I got to work on time last night by the skin of my teeth. A phone call to announce I’d been searching for my missing keys seemed appropriate. Granted, the keys were only missing for about five seconds. But at least I didn’t lie about it.
Four hours of work was fine. I concentrated well on the job, when called for. I was unusually silent during dinner hour — and I’m sure you all know why.
As soon as I got home, I grabbed my laptop and headed to the Bagel Shop. There I remained until the first rush of drunken students arrived. I returned to my room, and wrote till midnight. As the clock struck twelve, I gave up. I had been belaboring the end of the Act for so long to no avail, I’m sure all the Museswere snoring in their sleep from boredom. Soon, I was snoring too.
And it’s a good thing. I got up at around 4am, took my thyroid medication, drank some water, did some reading, made some coffee, called a friend, and finally braved the unknown.
Then, what didn’t happen last night happened this morning. It was uncanny. It’s a rare experience, and very difficult to describe. The same experience occurred when I wrote the Siddhartha Monologue, and the lyrics to“Midnight Screams.” The rush of creative fire ripped through my bloodstream. It practically burned through my pores. As I wrote the “oracle” that my protagonist, Winston Greene, is supposed to be “receiving” at the end of the Act, it was as though I myself were receiving it — from somewhere. It couldn’t have happened last night, either. Last night all I did was stare brain-dead at the page. It must have happened when it was meant to happen; for this morning, I was on fire.
Honestly, I got so excited when the final verses of the song came about, I could barely focus to write. Mercifully, I was able to contain myself just long enough to finish the Act. At that, I heard the voice of my Theatre Arts mentor, the late Tom McKenzie, clearly saying what he no doubt would have said to me at that moment – God rest his soul.
“And now, it’s time for you to put it aside for a while.”