This offering is a spin-off on the large choral number entitled “Awake the Dawn” that is featured in my new musical Eden in Babylon. Although it essentially captures the spirit of the piece, it also involves improvisations around other songs that I have written over the years.
“Awake the Dawn” is a biblical expression found in two of the Psalms of David. It’s Sunday; it’s early in the morning — c’mon people! Let’s all Awake the Dawn.
Q. Um – isn’t the Tuesday Tuneup supposed to take place on Tuesday?
A. Supposedly. But with my track record, if I began writing on Tuesday, it probably wouldn’t happen till about Thursday, if at all. And anyway, it will be Tuesday in about a half hour or so.
Q. Why are you up so late?
Q. Why are you sleepless?
A. I don’t know. Runs in the family. My dad, my brother, we all have insomnia.
Q. But you don’t have insomnia every night, do you?
A. Not at all, sir. On most nights, I sleep rather well.
Q. So why the sudden insomnia?
A. I don’t know. Restless. Stuff on my mind.
Q. Like what?
A. Wow – you sure do ask a lot of questions, don’t you?
Q. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?
A. Never mind. What’s on my mind is, quite honestly, my own shortcomings. My flaws, my faults, my mistakes.
Q. Is not to err human?
Q. Is it not human to make mistakes?
A. I suppose so — at least according to the descendant of an ancestor of mine. But I am not divine, and I just cannot forgive myself my mistakes. There are too many of them. They are too huge. And try as I may, I never seem to make any progress toward correcting them.
Q. Do they need to be corrected?
A. What do you mean, do they “need” to be corrected? What kind of a question is that? They’re mistakes! If things are wrong, they must be made right.
A. What do you mean, why?
Q. Why can’t you just let them be wrong?
A. You mean – not even try to correct the mistakes?
Q. That’s what I said, didn’t I?
A. Are you honestly trying to suggest that I make no effort to correct my mistakes?
Q. The mistakes are past, aren’t they?
A. They occurred in the past, yes. I think the last one was about fifteen minutes ago, but it’s still past.
Q. Can you change the past?
A. No, I cannot.
Q. Then why are you trying to do so?
A. I don’t know, sir. I honestly do not know.
The Questioner is silent.
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It’s been two days since I posted that last, most exuberant announcement, regarding the Creative UpsurgeI so enjoyed for a time. Rest assured that the Upsurge has all but desurgified, and that there have been no creative juices flowing per se except for a few nagging senses of a paralyzing insistence on performing multiple instances of pure perfectionism. Specifically, I continue to get the sense that everything is at a standstill until I correct these relatively random musical errors in my already submitted work. Not the emphasis on the word “submitted.”
It is of relevance to me that the work I must now be so laboriously readjusted is work that I have already released via social media as well as a few very vociferous email blasts. On checking my rarely visited SoundCloud, I find I’ve gotten 15 hits in the past twenty-four hours – the norm usually being zero. So people are eagerly soaking in this prematurely released version of my work. This has me uneasy, and just as eager to get the new reincarnations of these pieces into their possession. But that runs counter to sound creative doctrine. Best I relax, and get it turned in at its natural rate; say, around this coming Saturday or so (today being Monday.)
This will however virtually necessitate that I once again do not venture upon untraveled textual terrain, such as attempting to complete a script or libretto or lyric set, or anything along non-musical lines that may be related to any of my projects. I cannot so venture, because my absorption in the musical aspect of everything is so exclusive. I need to see myself through this travail, musically speaking, before anything is considered in any other area of life.