Failure to Adapt

It’s really been frustrating me that I can’t get these simple piano pieces together.  It should be an easy gig; I should be able to plan ahead and find somebody to help me.  I should be able to afford to replace my smartphone; or, save up dutifully until I can afford one.  But I keep showing myself that I can do none of these things.  I try, and it all falls apart.  Then I become discouraged, and I lose confidence, and I start thinking I’ll never get it together.  

Today, for example, I made a point of tracking down someone who wouldn’t mind going over to the church with me with their smartphone so I could do the two-person job of making this piano recording.  One of the volunteers at the Center gladly agreed.   But he does have a mental health condition, as do all of us who frequent the Center.

See the source imageHis, however, is different than mine.  When I asked him what his diagnosis was once, he told me that they had boiled it down to “Failure to Adapt.”  (I’ve never personally heard of such a diagnosis, but I can believe it.  I haven’t succeeded at “adapting” too well myself.)

So I was relieved and thrilled to be able to make a piano recording.  We did it, and I think it took, and I think it sounded good, except for a few mistakes.   But before I began to play the piece, following setup, he asked if he could “take a break.”

“Sure!” I said.

I then proceeded to wait for him for over two hours in the church.  I became increasingly anxious.  Believe me, with my absent-mindedness, I am the last person to be trusted with somebody’s device.   I even misplaced the phone during the two hours when I was at the church, and had to scramble from room to room trying to find it.

When I called the Center to ask if he was there, they said he was not.  They also reminded me that it’s company policy not to give out phone numbers of the people who have given their numbers to the Center.  So I couldn’t call him.

When the two hour wait was over, I emailed him that I would go to the Center and leave his phone there in a safe place.

I went to the Center, and to my surprise, he was there!   He never even came back to the church to get his phone.  Now I begin to make sense of the “Failure to Adapt” diagnosis.  When I spoke with him, there was clearly no idea in his head that he had even inconvenienced me, let alone did it register with him that I might not want to be responsible for his phone.

Neither he nor I could figure out how to find the iPhone equivalent of what is called the “gallery” on an Android.  He then suggested that somebody named Matt would know what to do.   I had to be at the clinic in about ten minutes, so I took off.

The good news is that there probably is a song or two on that phone somewhere.  Then, I will have to upload it to my youtube channel, or maybe get some kind of drive I can get it on, so as to relieve him of further obligations.  Probably, I can get it together by Wednesday, if I focus.

I don’t know.  I’m just spent.  Maybe I’ve made too big a deal out of the whole thing, but it just seems that some of you were getting into these piano offerings, and it sucks that I’m not getting it together.   Like the quote says, “all failure is failure to adapt.”   I guess I better start adapting.

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If anyone has use for a CD in this day and age (and I’m almost sure there are those among us who do), my new Pinnacle CD is on sale for $10 on the local market and $15 if I have to mail it to you.

And just in case you don’t happen to have any particular use for a CD in your hyper-modern mode of existence, my music doesn’t cost a whole lot to access in general.  As a matter of fact, here it is.

pinnacle cover

One way or the other, your kind donation is always appreciated.   Here’s to the “Heart of the Arts.”

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
A little bit goes a long, long way.  

Gratitude List 1174

(1)  Though I felt very lethargic this morning after oversleeping, I now feel more alive and energetic than I’ve been for several days.   Thankful for a good night’s sleep and for a quiet, secluded place where I can achieve it.

(2) Thankful for my bicycle.  On the brisk ride to the Courtyard, the air felt fresh and a tad moist as though I were swimming in it.

(3) Free Starbucks coffee at the Courtyard, second cup completely consumed.

(4) Made a new piano CD called Pinnacle.   (Link is to a SoundCloud playlist.)   I’ve got this idea I can sell them for $10 locally and $15 if I have to mail them to somebody.   In fact, if you want one, why not just donate anonymously on the link at the bottom and leave me your mailing info on my contact page Really, I’m pretty happy with it, and I’m thankful for the church that gave me a key to a building with a Baldwin grand piano.

(5) A third cup of coffee.  :)

(6)  Although arguably I did not change overnight on my 66th birthday, I rejoice in that according to the United States government, apparently I have changed for the better.  Apparently, I am no longer “disabled” but “retired” now.  The ironic upshot is that I now can work as much as I want without them chopping my disability check, because it is no longer a disability check, but a retirement check.  I may now joyfully join the ranks of all the other blokes who seem to work harder after they retire (no social statement intended.)

(7) Nice video chat with my daughter yesterday.  She appears to have a nice boyfriend now, which is a relief.   Had a nice chat with him about our parallel experiences with the Boy Scouts.  I saw an omelette he made her for “breakfast in bed.”  Obviously, he is quite the chef, and treats the lady kindly.

(8) Very thankful for the current close-knit creative, culturally conscious community tucked in between all those tall hills and at least one major mountain.   It’s a microcosm.  I love this place.

(9) Tuned into CityLab recently, and the wonderful work they’re doing to raise awareness as to how to make American cities more livable and sustainable for all.   Grateful for Alastair Boone, and for her strong encouragement toward my lending my voice through the medium of journalism.

(10) The first article for my new column Homeless No More was published a few days ago in the June issue of Street Spirit.   There isn’t a whole lot of money in this, but what’s money?   I’m just grateful I live indoors, and God has been very good to me.

Please donate to Eden in Babylon.
A little bit goes a long, long way.